It took my wife 7 months of counseling before she started to talk, and begin to tell the truth.
That was after 18 years of marriage.
One year later she was suicidal, as she thought about what she had told, when she began talking, and was hospitalized.
She asked my promise to never tell the children, or anyone else, ever, what she has revealed.
Even today, actually today, she says she is not sure she made the right decision to talk, it was easier to stuff it all by not talking.
But, we would have divorced, we almost did. I was done thinking it was me, I wanted someone who didn't cringe when I came home, who avoided me, yet who had cheated on me so it seemed she obviously wanted something I was not.
I was wrong though, she wanted me but was afraid of me at the same time, and that someone would tell things about her and I'd leave. One thing that came out in counseling, compulsive sexual acting out, ending only shortly before she met me, after some counseling she had sought out herself. She has been with me for over 20 years, cheated on me during the affair, but that is it sexual partner wise.
Before that, recurring episodes of promiscuity that she couldn't understand or seem to control, she has no idea how many partners, certainly over 200, sometimes more than one per day, with periods of shameful remorse and asexuality which she also didn't understand.
Her sisters have the same issues. She and I have the only successful marriage, one sibling fucks any man who she can who is attached, or much, much, younger, and the other seems to go after older men who remind her of their father, the other is after married or addicted men.
All of them, my wife included, are addicts or alcoholic and my wife is the only one who is in recovery.
[This message edited by standinghere at 9:12 PM, June 17th (Monday)]