“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
I can relate to the emotional train wreck. I only had a 14 year marriage, but it was still hard to believe it was all going to be over. For me, no matter what had happened and no matter what I knew, it was still very surreal for the judge to legally declare our marriage was irrecovably broken. :-(
It's hard to come to terms with the fact you spent so many years with someone only to have it end this way. I questioned a lot about me, the relationship, etc. However, what I found was what I knew to be true in my heart. My marriage wasn't a lie. This wasn't something ex set out to do. He broke and rather than reaching out for help, he became a desperate man trying to patch the hole inside with "something" rather than trying to fix the hole. I know our children were conceived in love and I know ex truly believed it would be "til death do us part" when he said I do on our wedding day. Those truths helped. I still struggle at times, but it helps to know it wasn't predestined, it was personal choice...personal BAD choice.
I'm surprised your stbxwh is going with the full court. My ex had his affair with our company bookkeeper and went through thousands of $$$ to fund the affair. He ended up agreeing to our marital settlement partly to "get it over with" and partly to avoid the attorney going after/through the company books. Smart move because those $$$ spent on the affair had some dire consequences to the business.
Anyway, I wish you the best. I know even just answering simple yes/no questions I teared up a couple of times, so I can't imagine being questioned for an hour. Be strong. You've made it this far and you can do what you need to do to find the freedom you deserve.
That being said, I hope some people will post on here letting you know how their hearings went if it went to trial.
Over the weekend, will you post if you feel like it and update us? I always hope for the best for everyone.
Try to stay centered. I tried to just be in the moment and block everything else out.
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
out of his mind for a long time
[This message edited by 15kat16 at 2:20 PM, June 26th (Wednesday)]