So I am only 9 months out from DD...but this month marks the start of the A my wife brought into our home a year ago.
Tonight we were both involved in a week long volunteer activity...the same activity we did last year together...1 year an 1 week ago the affair was spawned. I did not know this at that time...thought this volunteer activity was fun and believed it was helping us expand our interactions together and was feeling REALLY good about this....was excited to see her interacting with the group..doing her thing while I did mine...occasionally running into each other just briefly...reminded me of our college days a bit.
Now I just feel stupid for thinking that way.
As we worked this activity together tonight I thought how very different I was feeling.
I can only relate it loosely to losing a loved one and all the firsts you experience that first year. The first Christmas without them, first birthday without them...etc..
I was NOT expecting this AT ALL...was actually in a really good spot for 2-3 weeks prior to this.
Is this just another down turn on the emotional roller coaster or can I expect this feeling to continue through this year?
I am really glad we cancelled an annual gathering with college friends this summer...traditionally taking place in late July...when the affair was really heating up.
I can only imagine how uncomfortable that would have been.
Shame of THAT is we are a small family...with hardly any traditions...so it is hard to give the ones up that we developed...I guess this act is just another cost to us. sigh.
Anyone just complete a full second year and care to chime in on what you felt? I realize that while affairs are hardly unique in American society today...the individuals involved in them ARE unique and, therefore, each experience will be different.
God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 9:19 PM, June 17th (Monday)]