Mainly I want to know which were the most beneficial because I am going to order my WBF a couple, but I don't have much money to spend, so I need to make wise choices and get the ones that will help the most.
I'm also just kind of curious what kinds of things are in these books. What does a WS learn from these books?
I have seen Not Just Friends suggested on here a lot, but to me that sounds like it might be about slipping into an A, or working on boundary issues. Things that I am not particularly concerned with at this time-he knows what the boundaries are, he just didn't care for awhile.
How To Help Your Spuose Heel From Your Affair sounds like a good one that I will probably order, any other suggestions?
I have read several others...am away from home right now but I will repost the other good ones...I have read a lot!
But I wanted to post here now so that you go ahead and order those two books...by far the best of all I read.
Would be nice if your spouse is open to reading them too...and then discussing them. I don't have that in my home...but could see a real benefit in that activity.
So, what can I expect to find in these books? I really can't imagine anything besides all the things that I have already read on this site.
We are in R.
I personally did NOT care to read about that immediately following my discovery...and even now, 10 months later I still have days that make these tough reads. NOTE: I generally have to read a book twice to really get it...probably linked to my poor listening skills.
Surviving An Affair Dr. Harley and Dr. Chalmers is a good read. I like the detailed examples and feelings that real life couples go through...from both the BS and WS perspective. I am rereading this one now....its helping me take a honest look at myself and work on what I am doing incorrectly...specifically what I am doing that hurts intimacy.
Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing by Dennis Ortman.
I recommend hardback on these books if you can find them...I really think you will want to reread them periodically.
I have read 15-20 books specifically on affairs...these are the best 4 I have come across.
Don't look for a silver bullet here...but you will find inspiration by reading them....even a little bit helps from time to time.
God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:53 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)]
A big difference between myself and my wife is the trauma this is to us. Yes, my wife has been hurt by the A but our total lack of control, lack of input, lack of knowledge puts us in a very different spot when then they are now.
By this book, and several others I have read, this experience that BS go through is unlike any other we ever will experience. Certainly there are other traumas in the world but this is unique.
God be with you, God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:44 PM, June 20th (Thursday)]