The following are good reads AFTER you read and put into practice what the two books mentioned before detail...that is a MUST before reading the following. I say that because the following books do have some verbiage that speaks to the BS having a role in parts of the marriage before the A that enabled an A to be an option for the WS. They don't BLAME BS for the A...but they do point out how the joint interactions between both spouses led to a need left going unmet.
I personally did NOT care to read about that immediately following my discovery...and even now, 10 months later I still have days that make these tough reads. NOTE: I generally have to read a book twice to really get it...probably linked to my poor listening skills.
Surviving An Affair Dr. Harley and Dr. Chalmers is a good read. I like the detailed examples and feelings that real life couples go through...from both the BS and WS perspective. I am rereading this one now....its helping me take a honest look at myself and work on what I am doing incorrectly...specifically what I am doing that hurts intimacy.
Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing by Dennis Ortman.
I recommend hardback on these books if you can find them...I really think you will want to reread them periodically.
I have read 15-20 books specifically on affairs...these are the best 4 I have come across.
Don't look for a silver bullet here...but you will find inspiration by reading them....even a little bit helps from time to time.
God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:53 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)]