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Reconciliation :
Proofing

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 huRtZ413 (original poster member #39214) posted at 3:19 PM on Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

What are you doing to affair proof your marriage now ? What has changed on your part? And WS.


me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE


posts: 278   ·   registered: May. 9th, 2013
id 6378123
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 3:25 PM on Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

The only actions you control are your own. You build and maintain strong boundaries on your end,and WH needs to do the same.

I don't think you can "affair proof" your marriage..because you can not control what the other person does.

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 6378132
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refuz2bavictim ( member #27176) posted at 3:30 PM on Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

Confused beat me to it!

I am working to make sure *I* am a good partner. I can affair proof myself but not my M as I have no control over what he does.

I do however keep myself aware of what he is doing to work on himself, so that I can have some sense of what to expect from him in this M.

Foresight is 2020

posts: 2414   ·   registered: Jan. 12th, 2010
id 6378137
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KeepCalm_CarryOn ( member #33374) posted at 3:34 PM on Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

What confused said!

I can only control my actions and reactions.

We both continue to work on ourselves and what we need to do to be good partners but I don't think even this "affair proofs" our marriage. It just means, hopefully, if issues do come up, we have better coping mechanisms!

You are not dealing with rational people or situations. Normal thought processes won't work...story of my life.

Me- BW, 30
Him- fWh, 36
Mostly R'd, minus a few scars...bought a house and got a puppy...And baby makes 3! She arrived August 2013

posts: 2156   ·   registered: Sep. 15th, 2011
id 6378142
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