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Newest Member: Sunflower96

Divorce/Separation :
Am I selfish or a crybaby

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 strawblond30 (original poster member #6263) posted at 11:48 PM on Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

I can't stop crying . I have lived it what I consider a crap life . I hate ( yes hate ) my run down out dated now flood disaster of a house. No money, I'm filing bank rupt in a week. Divorce was final last Friday. He is still here like he wants a new start. But I've found a new friend ( nothing serious) his wife cheated also so we share each others time together. But how do I explain to the ex how much I hate everything I mean everything. I need therapy bad!!!

Divorced 2013 after several years of infidelity on both sides. Remarried July 2018 my new husband Is opposite from Ex. I can actually breath with out worrying what he is doing. Living my best life now .

posts: 1122   ·   registered: Jan. 19th, 2005   ·   location: illinois
id 6378858
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Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 1:47 AM on Wednesday, June 19th, 2013

Sounds like you are overwhelmed and having a well deserved pity party (btdt) and you have a whole lot of mess on your plate at once. Take a breath, take a day by yourself somewhere nice, even if it is just a walk... you are never too old to start over (at least that is what I keep telling myself )

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6379007
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Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 1:56 AM on Wednesday, June 19th, 2013

I'm sorry, StrawBlond. I have a lot of the same issues you have and some more.

I notice in your post you said you are getting divorced but Wh is still there? I just wondered why, if you ever felt like telling that part. Maybe it's adding to your stress?

I have the tears too and for what it's worth, I asked IC for ideas of what I mourn and she suggested it could be other emotions coming out in crying form-anger is something she suggested and I buy that because I recognize what a horrible person Perv turned into.

Anyway...

That word I hate "compartmentalize" has actually helped me, though I hate to use it, but I wonder if it would help you? I used it when a holiday would come and we had too much to do in a day, where I would only think of one thing at one time. I know there are forces in the air around us that don't always let us think that way, but if you could make a list and somehow put an issue away for part of a day, maybe it could help?

I've also heard a term lately called "emotional exhaustion" that I have and it sounds like you may, also, kind of where everything runs together in our minds at once and all we do is cry. There's a lot online to read about it.

I hope some closure will come soon and I wish you peace.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

posts: 3034   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2013   ·   location: New England
id 6379017
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