My WH says to me...
"I just don't get it. I don't understand how he can do something like this and not understand why it is so bad; not understand how it hurts people; and not make any attempts to do anything about it."
Are you kidding me?
If I responded with - "Because that is exactly how you have handled your infidelity" then there would be ugly words, threats about leaving that are never followed through on, and silent treatment for God know how long. So I left it alone.
I just sat there and cried. I guess in his vacuum he thought I was crying about my son.
[This message edited by WhatsRight at 8:34 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)]
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
I felt like crying too. Just another night with shitty sleep and nightmares. I guess there comes a time when their transgressions fade to them or are buried. I don't think it's malicious, because it's something she would of said prior to her A. Still...just hurts.
I have yet to gain that control over myself. I still blurt out what I want about half of the time.
Just the other day I was talking to WH about maybe taking a Krav Maga class (self defense). He told me that he prefers his woman to be feminine, to which I said you mean like MOW.
It's really hard for me not to throw it back when they set themselves up for it. I'm working on it though.
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 12:52 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)]
I proceeded to read the text out loud, then tell my son how disrespectful and inappropriate the text was to the girl and to himself. That I don't care what his friends do/think. I only care about him. I said that if he carried himself with class, then people around him would start to respect him and act accordingly around him. Maybe they would even change their behavior too.
When I finished my yelling, I asked my H if he had anything to add. He said "No, you about covered it."
I didn't ask my H, but I've wondered if he understood that I was talking about him too. I was disgusted by my DS13's comments, but honestly, I've seen worse on my H's phone and computer.
Big Pot meet Little Pot... Like Father, like son...
At times when I am giving a 'good talking to' to one of my kids, and I COULD use a totally different analogy, I use something that directly applies to my WH.
Of course, he chimes in, agrees, and never even acts like he has a clue that it also applies to him.
Do you think they don't see it?
or........
Do they just avoid dealing with it?
I'M ON THE FENCE
As will I.
"You will never be the same. You accept it. You will never have closure. There is no such a word as closure. Closure does not exist. Life is different. Now you get to choose what you're going to do with it."
Sometimes we see it very clearly. I raise my children from the perspective of things I have done that ended disastrously, things that worked well for me, and things I learned from others.
While I am a wayward there are things other do I do not understand at all. There are things I do they don't. It is possible to have made poor choices in your own life understanding those quite well while not getting other's choices.
Although, when "you're" always looking at others actions it does leave a very blind spot for your own. There's that.
'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth
