No, but really, I sort of feel like if I were the ONE, he wouldn't have done those things. I question whether we're soul mates, as he likes to call me. I even googled the defenition of love. I guess in the end, if he didn't love himself, he couldn't love me. It's oh so tragic...
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 1:18 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)]
I also believe your H's cheating had nothing to do with his level of love for you or whether or not you were his "one." He would have cheated on anyone he was with. I believe that.
BTW, I didn't always feel this strongly about this concept until my W told me OM was her soul mate.
She later realized and admitted her A had nothing to do with him, or me, and OM could've been anybody. Just affirmation that a spouse could also be anybody.
[This message edited by DWBH at 2:51 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)]
It's got nothing to do with that whatsoever - Jana is right - there are any number people we can be happy with - thats whats called "attraction" - and when you're married - sure, you can feel that attraction but you don't ACT on it - big difference.
It's real simple (at least in my book) he wouldn't have done those things if he had boundaries and respect for you and himself.
So, I know it's not about me...but, I can't shake off the idea that "I" may not be the one for my H.
Turn it around.
Maybe he isn't the one for you.
I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.
Now, you've got me thinking...
Freud isn't all bullshit.
That was 21 years ago, I've grown up quite a bit since then and that fantasy has been shattered many times, to the point that its no longer a realistic concept.
Like the others have said...you could be happy with any number of ppl. Our Waywards were!
Dday: March 2011 (found out EA Phone records)
2nd Dday: June 18, 2011 (OW told me about WH secret phone)
3rd Dday: December 13, 2012 (found evidence WH stalking Ow on FB)
4th Dday: February 4, 2013 (confession of 2nd secret
I know!Sorry, everyone who's truly R-ing. I shouldn't be here. Not right now anyways...I'm going back to general with dear Skan.
There is nothing to be sorry for. But in all your posting, the one person I think you are not listening to is yourself.
Thanks again, doll. :)
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 6:13 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)]
I still feel that way.
But since love is a decision I totally get that if I grew up in Japan I would have found and chose to love a girl in Japan.
I too got the soulmate statement from my wife regarding her OM...it pretty much sucks...but only to the extent you let it.
I DO believe in God. In my case I don't believe it is Gods plan to have a married mother of 2 hook up with married father of 5. Dang that own will part of our being!!! smile.
I use this a reminder to ME as I have selfish urges during this process...it helps me center myself. Though I have done selfish things during this process...I am not perfect either.
God be with us all.