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Newest Member: truck (61832)

User Topic: Managing Anger
♀ 39364
Member # 39364
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I found out May 19 my husband had been having an affair with a stripper for more than a year. There was a ton of lying involved. We have two young children. Since I found out he's completely remorseful. He's gotten rid of all his porn, blocked this person from his phone and says he'll do anything.
On one hand, I would love to walk away. We have had tons of other problems, arguing, some abuse issues, him not being reliable. But right now I don't work full time, and we have two young children. Anyway - we are in limbo I guess. I want to end it, but don't know how. He wants to work on it and is trying to convince me too. And then I have this anger. I hate him. He disgusts me. I'm fine doing my part time work and taking care of the kid s- all this stuff must be done. But he wants us to work on us, and I from my gut HATE him for doing this, and the whole past year of lying.
I feel like this means I should just file for divorce. It's not fair to lead him on when I am so uninterested in working it out.

Ugh - this sucks.


Posts: 6 | Registered: May 2013 | From: atlanta
♀ 31529
Member # 31529
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the general consensus will be to give it time before you make a decision. The pain is still raw, you are still processing it all and are most certainly not in the best frame of mind to make a decision that will change everybody's lives.

That being said, he did something without much thought that changed everyone's lives. And if I could do it all over again I would not have tried to R. He showed me who he was, and I didn't believe him the first time. And he is continuing to show me who he is...

It would have been easier to leave right after DDay.

Me-BW (45)
Him-WS (42)
DS 19 (prior relationship)
DDay #1- 10/22/2010 EA/PA with MOW coworker
Dday#2:11/17/2010 beginning secret emails with potential OW#2
DDay #3 11/22/2010 still seeing OW#1
Too many DD's to count: Now up to OW #6.

Posts: 696 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: the south
Topic Posts: 2

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