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Should I Do This To Relieve My Trigger?

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anonymous823 posted 6/19/2013 18:41 PM

I want to call my F's number from the OW's number to see if it recognizes her number. He changed his cell number after NC and for all intents and purposes has been NC for a month but this is a trigger. If the phone recognizes the number then it has been called from it before and they've been in contact since the number change, there's no way for my F to change it because it's a stock system setting.

So should I do it to verify she's never called his new number? I'm tired of this trigger haunting me and he told me to just do it.

MylarPineapples posted 6/19/2013 19:15 PM

I'm not sure what you should do, but how would you get access to OW's phone to make this call?

anonymous823 posted 6/19/2013 19:32 PM

I would use a Spoof card to make the caller ID read as her number. I did that on dday; I called the number I thought was hers and made the caller ID read as my F's number so she would answer and it worked. Spoof cards are pretty cheap. I credit the Spoof Card with giving me my proof on dday because the OW thought it was him and answered saying how angry she was at him before I could tell her it was me.

catlover50 posted 6/19/2013 19:36 PM

Why not then, especially if you have his blessing?

AFrayedKnot posted 6/19/2013 20:05 PM

Why would you want to remind him of her or her number?

anonymous823 posted 6/19/2013 20:08 PM

I did it and it didnt recognize her number. I feel a lot better. I hung up before it could show up on his phone. I have the same phone service so I know that if I hang up within a few seconds the call doesn't show up. Didn't want him seeing her number.

AFrayedKnot posted 6/19/2013 20:13 PM

Do you have access to the call log on the phone bill?

If not you should

sisoon posted 6/20/2013 08:02 AM

You can't R unless you're honest. Spoof card sounds like cheating to me. Not necessarily a big cheat, but why put yourself on a slippery slope? (Yup. I'm judging what you did here.)

Especially since looking at the record of calls made to and from his phone give you more and better information....

anonymous823 posted 6/20/2013 10:53 AM

Update: well the OW has a new number so this was pointless. Now I've got new concerns.

confused615 posted 6/20/2013 10:55 AM

The OW is not your problem. The problem is your WF.

IMETC72012 posted 6/20/2013 11:04 AM

I am walking around with the AP phone number and calling card info my WH used to call her-her birthday is coming up (sick that I know this) and he has been acting weird-I thought I'd give her a ring(using a phone booth like he did). I don't want to say anything to her just call and leave the line open. Plus I want to see if their co-conspirator e-mails my WH to ask why he called and didn't say anything. Problem is she is in Australia and so the time difference makes me crazy-counting the hours plus. I am just so CRAZY right now. The anniversary of my DD is 30 days from today. Stupid but I feel guilty spying and thinking up this crap while he seems to be just rolling along. I am triggering like crazy with anyone with the name Michelle, anything to do with Australia, I can't even go near the grocery store where he called her from. Again, he seems to not even notice these things.

anonymous823 posted 6/20/2013 11:10 AM

I agree that my issues are only with my WF. I learned from dday that contacting the OW is a terrible idea. My F and I have a therapy session today. I'm going to bring this up. I actually feel he's been honest but I suffer for generalized anxiety disorder and since he lied once I am always thinking the worst first. He says he didn't know she'd changed her number, has not contacted her and that he has been totally honest. Since we're long distance he voluntarily webcams me from wherever he is or calls me on speaker and he's been doing this for 6 weeks. Evidence suggesrs he's being honest but I'm paranoid now.

[This message edited by anonymous823 at 11:11 AM, June 20th (Thursday)]

daledge posted 6/20/2013 11:21 AM

These cheaters are liars. What is wrong with checking up on them? Are we supposed to willing put ourselves in denial? Live in La La Land? As Ronald Reagan said: "Trust But Verify". The Spoof Card is great. Better than a shirt on a pocket.

sisoon posted 6/20/2013 12:13 PM

As a'823 found out, the spoof card is inconclusive. I suspect it's also illegal. Again, no matter what, it's dishonest.

There are legal ways to get much better information.

If you want your WS to be honest, it makes no sense to be dishonest yourself - especially when being dishonest gets you lousy info and being honest gets you good info.

Think. Post often, when you have something to say. When you hit 50 or 51 posts, you get access to the Investigative Tips forum. I've only skimmed it, but that's where you'll learn how to gather good info legally and ethically.

Devastated777 posted 6/20/2013 21:21 PM

where do you get this spoof card?

anonymous823 posted 6/20/2013 23:01 PM I highly recommend it and don't think they are wrong to use. They are totally legal to use, but you are not allowed to harass others using them. I think that goes for anything though.

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