"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"
My dday was 10/21/12. My h left me the same day. I do feel that for me that is the issue that I struggle with the most.
How could he leave me after 13 years together for a stranger.
That initial revelation, his lack of remorse, the cruelty while he was gone.
That is what just doesn't make any sense to me.
I am in IC, we are in MC and still there just seems to be no answer.
I am also unsure if I am able to R, just giving it time and working on making me feel good about me.
The only thing that I have decided is that I am not ready to decide.
I am open with my h, tell him every thing that I think and feel. Giving him the chance to do the same for me.
I don't know if he is capable of true emotional closeness but I am not ready to make a final decision either way.
The only thing that I do know now is that I want an honest relationship, vulnerability on both our parts. I will settle for nothing less.
I know for me that him leaving me and all of the events that caused pain after dday caused the bulk of the damage.
I don't know how to determine if you can r.
Are you in IC, MC?
For me, I would not be able to survive this with out it. It helps me to keep the focus on healing me and not fear the consequences, (most of the time)
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
I attempted R, he was a lie