Warning: rant ahead.
I posted a few days ago of discovering yet another long-ago A. I've had a shitstorm of thoughts since then, here's one one my mind now.
"She could have been anyone."
And in STBXWH's case.. she WAS anyone. ALL of them. Anyone stupid enough/vulnerable enough/needy enough for him to prey on and use, emotionally and sexually. For attention and validation.
Women who were missing something in their lives, or just out to have a good time, or caught up in the utter fuckedupness of their own life, or those who just get off on the attention of men.
I feel so sorry for all of us.
When the anger washes away.. because it seems to come and go like a tide.. when that's gone I'm just left with sadness for everyone involved.
I'm at the point where I can see them, and us, all as broken human beings. But the hardest part of all is trying to love them in spite of it. Not in the sense of liking them or anything like that. And every now and again I will refer to each and every one of them as stupid fucking c***s. That comes from a place of anger and pain.
Sometimes when my mind is clear I wish them well. And I hope they find peace. Because what good has hate ever done for me.
