SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Must Survive posted 6/20/2013 12:26 PM

Last night I ended up mostly awake. I realize that for my healing to be complete I need this divorce to be final. I look at some of you and you were divorced in months. Its been 14 months for me. I have emailed and called my lawyer to tell him to expedite this thing. Any ideas on how to make it faster. I have a real concern that the other lawyer is too aged (she has retired) to do anything timely. The last letter she sent she commented that she had received the dates, but that she has "misplaced them" and keeps calling my lawyer's office for them.

What can I do to get this over with. My only thought is once a week call my lawyer to "drive this through" even though it will cost me money.

sparkysable posted 6/20/2013 13:39 PM

Mine only took 9 months, so I don't know why yours is taking so long. Maybe be that squeaky wheel that gets the oil?

Ashland13 posted 6/20/2013 14:21 PM

Mine is supposed to be done by the end of the year.

Timeframes I've gotten vary.

Something happening I'm trying not to get flustered about is that suddenly letters are coming from the other L to "expedite" the divorce and sale of home...WTH? (what's the hurry)

I say that in part because the pending things are from the side sending the hurry letters!?

lostmommy posted 6/20/2013 15:32 PM

It depends on what the hold up is. I started the process November 2011 with my lawyer. After much back and forth with XH, the Stipulation of Settlement was finalized in September/October 2012. Then it took some time for my L to draw up all the papers that needed to be signed and submitted so I would say that it was sent to the courthouse with a pretty little bow sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas 2012. Due to a backlog in the court system, we weren't finalized until 4/10/13. It felt like forever, but I guess it was 16 months of mostly BS and 4 months of it was actual court system delayed.

trumanshow posted 6/21/2013 09:01 AM

WE sep april 2011 and still haven't even signed off on the sep agreement. Soon I'll be able to calculate how much $ he spent on the whore and we can begin selling houses

Dawn58 posted 6/21/2013 10:08 AM

I served the pig papers on January 8, 2013. The "Voluntary Settlement Conference" is set for Oct. 30. Some court date (ROP or something like that) will occur after Dec. 3.

His attorney is pulling some shit. Asking for disclosures that break the attorney-client privilege, so my attorneys may need to go to court to preserve my privacy. My attorney feels that the other side is doing this, to piss through money so there is less money to prepare for the Voluntary Settlement conference in Oct.

I am sure the pig is crying victim, complaining about how much this divorce is costing him. What a bitch I am.....Just hope the skank is worth it. I figure between what he has spent on attorney fees and the forensic accountant, he's probably in for close to 100K so far.....

Nature_Girl posted 6/21/2013 10:57 AM

Almost 18 months since I filed for divorce here. Two lawyers. Parenting eval. A court trial that lasted all day. More court dates. Still not divorced.

I join you in wondering how people get divorced so quickly. I do know why mine is dragging out so long (I'm divorcing a personality-disordered SA), but still. I can't help but be envious when others here announce their divorce is final.

lostmommy posted 6/21/2013 14:39 PM

I guess I should be happy that XWH planned his wedding for this past April. It helped light a fire under his ass to get paperwork back to my lawyer. We were divorced 10 days before he remarried.

Phoenix1 posted 6/21/2013 14:49 PM

I can't imagine it dragging on so long! That would be absolute misery!

As soon as we file our paperwork (which I am working on now that we have reached a verbal agreement), the judge waits 30 days and signs off. Done...

Catwoman posted 6/21/2013 14:55 PM

Mine took 3.5 years.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that having it over with will do much for you, unless there are complex issues to resolve. For most of us, if there are temp orders, things will be relatively unchanged once everything goes through. The only exception is those who need to sell a home and move, but that is a short lived upheaval.

Why do you want it done quickly? What are you expecting it to do for you?

Cat

Must Survive posted 6/21/2013 15:42 PM

CW,

There are a few reasons why I want this done. I want to be able to say I am divorced. I do have a house. Not sure if it will have to be sold or not. So limbo with that. I will be changing my name. The business that I do, I have to use my name and I have a lot of signage. Can't change that until I am "legally" divorced. Again limbo. He is living with OW#3 (since 2 or 3 months after d-day) I feel foolish that I am still married to a man who is living with another woman, who also have been engaged for over a year (but that may have ended). While I am starting to open myself to possibly dating, again, I am not divorced. I don't want to explain the whole divorcing thing, but will not lie. So I feel as though again, I am in limbo.

tryingagain74 posted 6/21/2013 16:50 PM

Once Dopey had me served (April of this year), it took about two months from that moment to the time the papers were signed, and that was with me holding up the process a small amount so that my lawyer made sure that the legal agreement wasn't tampered with and that I didn't get screwed on my health insurance. Did you have your WS served? The D can go on without the other party if that party chooses not to respond.

I don't blame you for wanting to get this done. I'm relieved that the final papers have been signed.