I agree with the others. You need to do what is best for yourself and only yourself. He's a POS.
Your "investement" is only few years with him. Imagine if you stay and nothing about him changes....and all signs point that he will not change.
I'm so sorry but I do know exactly how you feel.
My story is the same and I'm living it right along with you. I had been with my xWBF for 18 years and then bam, out of the blue a few months ago I discover a very secret life he built for himself.
Since last DDay#3 and the evidence right there in the open (they were having dinner together when I showed up) he will not speak to me, not once, not ever.
He has texted me and said "i'm sorry but I'm not ready to talk". WTF?
After that I learned - with much pain and heartache - that I must detach and move on.
There is no other choice - I can't stay in something that in his mind was already over.
When he sent me that same text again today, it just set me back to step 1 all over.
18 fuckin' years and all of a sudden he can't talk to me? Not one verbal word,no explantation, no excuse. NOTHING. He just vanished from my life.
it's mind-fuckery games by some twisted sociopath who can do that and not feel a thing, or say a thing, after 18 years.
So while you are 3 years into it don't try and gloss over his real message to you. That message can be seen in his actions and his lack of feeling. The relatioship is over in his mind and he didn't have the fuckin' common decency to inform you like a normal adult would do. Instead he's playing with your mind. Don't let him do that to you any longer.
Read up on the 180 (healing library under BS Q&A), it will be a saving grace to begin detachment. And if you can find IC that would be beneficial, too.
Painful, horrible, spineless, deceptive and full of lies, betrayal, and mind-fuckery games.
It's just horrible for you but to him it's just "over". Takes your breath away that a human-being can be that heartless to one another.
But please know there are others in the exact same boat as yours. I'm one of them and I'm not going down with the ship, I will be a survivor and you will be too!
Sending many, many, many hugs to you. You watch out for yourself, and do only what is right for you.
[This message edited by TheRealDeal at 7:33 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)]