Ok, here we go.
Married 18yrs, been together for 21. WW turned the big 40 last July.
Prior to our son being born 11yrs ago, my WW was a flight attendant. She absolutely loved the job. After our son was born, she decided to quit to stay home.
My WW bounced around from job to job, mostly part time stuff, and never found her calling or something she enjoyed. In February she decided she wanted to go back to flying. I was a little apprehensive, but knew she loved this job and was very successful at it. So I supported her as she restarted her career. It was a little tough having her away for up to 4 days at a time, but our family adapted.
On one morning in late April, she was getting ready to fly out for 3 days. I tried to telephone her several times, but the calls went to voice mail. This was very unusual and eventually she answered just prior to the time she was to fly out. She gave me she was confused out our M speech, didn't know what she wanted now that she had her freedom, and wasn't sure she wanted to remain M'd. Wow, I was stunned. To say this came out of the blue was an understatement. We had our ups and downs, but mostly our M was good.
I knew something was amiss, so when I got home I checked her phone usage through Verizonwireless. There it was, a number I was unfamiliar with. The calls and texts started 4 days prior to that day, when she was gone on a trip. I ran a check on the number, bam came back to a male from out of state.
I telephoned her and left her a voice mail telling I knew what was up. She eventually called back and Dday 1 commenced. Eventually she admitting meeting this male on an extended layover, and they talked face to face for about 5 hours. WW stated she got his number and they began to chat and text for the next 4 days. WW described it as just "friend type" conversations, nothing more. WW admitted it was wrong and stated she was sorry, though never gave a heart felt apology.
I sent the OM a text asking that he stop conversations with my WW. He apologised and ceased all contact with her. WW got home and after about 3 days of back and forth, she decided she wanted to fix this and work on our M.
Prior to this, we both were in M counseling, but about 5 months prior she stopped going. I continued on as IC.
We started back M counseling and the next 4 weeks were great. I can honestly say we were the closest we've been in years. We spent a lot of time together, opened up and really talked and communicated to each other. I thought we were heading toward healing.
On monday June 3rd, during the evening I spoke with WW. She told me about how she and the two pilots went out to dinner, but her captain left right after dinner. WW advised she and her first officer then stayed and talked for "4 hours" afterward. My spider sense then began to tingle. I didn't say anything about it to her, but looking back I should have.
WW gets home the next day and I was at work. I work evenings so during my telephone conversation with her I could tell something was off. I got home later that evening and she and my son were asleep. I went on Verizonwires again and Bam. There is was, another strange number. Ran it, yep, it was her first officer from the last trip. Texts and calls throughout the previous day and that day. Went in the bedroom, woke her, and D day number 2 commenced. She admitted talking and texting, admitted it was wrong, but stated she wasn't going to stop. It was like the WW was reading directly from the WS handbook. Everything was my fault, she hadn't really loved my for several years, only stayed in the M because of her son, now wanted her "freedom", blah, blah, blah. I told her we could repair this, and the only thing I asked that she end contact with OM2. WW advised she was not going to do this.
Now I know the OM somewhat, but I know his W better. All of us our members at the same gym. I know that the OM and his W have been separated for sometime, and the OM's W is actually "seeing" a guy I used to work with. Actually, when I had the conversation with my WW on June the 3rd, I told my WW about her OM's W, and how she was banging the guy I used to work with.
So I sent the OM a text telling him that WW and I could not work through our issues if he continued to have contact with my WW. OM texted my back that his W and he were having their own issues and he appriciated my concern. That was it.
Needless to say, my WW and the OM continued to text and call each other. WW actually went out and got another cellphone in her name, so I can no longer monitor via the computer. She keeps the telephone on her and doesn't let it out of her site. There have been a few occasions to have access to it, but she deletes her texts. I have seen where they've telephoned each other and I did see a text from him on Saturday. WW also admitted to having "feelings" for the OM and he had "feelings" for her.
Prior to this WW and I have had several conversations in regards to where our M is headed. WW stated she considers us separated and was going to contact a L. WW stated she was "confused", and "didn't know what she wanted", and just "needed some time to figure herself out". WW asked several times that I move out, but I refused.
Wait, it gets better. This tuesday WW got home from a 3 day trip late. Prior to leaving on this trip she was lovey dovey toward me, and actually made the comment she needed to contact the OM and advise him not to contact her while she "figured out what she wanted". WW made physical and emotional signs to me that maybe she wanted to stay in the M. This gave me some hope.
When the WW got home from this latest trip, she was again cold and distant toward me.
On Wednesday, WW spent most of the day with our son. This is not unusual, as when she's home, she spends as much time as she can with him.
This morning, she calls and tells me that on Friday, she will be leaving to go on a 4 day trip. WW advised she was at the grocery store and would see me when I got home. I got home from the gym around 11am, she wasn't home, but our son was. Son told me he spoke with my WW and she told him that he (son) and I should go see the new Superman movie together, without her. Again, spider sense starts tingling. Something is amiss.
I telephoned her and she advised she was still at the grocery store. I believe this because I could hear a crowd in the background. I tell her we were going to the movies, and would be home later.
My son and I go to the movies, but my 6th sense told me something was wrong. About 30 minutes into the flick, I call WW. I asked her where she was and there was a long pause. I asked her again and she stated "out". I asked out where and she responded she was at the city park. I asked if she was with the OM and she replied she was. I then terminated this call. Later I sent her a text advising her that I will no longer tolerate this disrespect and we were done.
When I got home it's the same ol' stuff from her. Blameshifting blah, blah, blah. I also found out she met with an attorney the day before. WW is so deep in the fog, I can't even describe it. WW now advised she and the OM are just "friends" and legally she's not having an A. Coaching from her A I suspect.
I have a meeting with my attorney on this coming tuesday, but man, my head is just spinning.
WW has circled the wagons as far as her friends and family being her support mechanism. I'm the bad guy, I'm Satan incarnate, same old stuff.
All of this occurred in front of our son and it's just killing him. I'm truly at a loss.
I really wanted to save this, and was willing to work above the fray and told her this. But now, it seems I've got no choice. I told her when she went to see him, she chose him over me and our M. All for a guy she's known for 3 weeks.
Guys and gals, aware me on how to access the 180 as I need to print this out and remain true to it.
Sorry about this book, but it really helps to write this out.
Any and all advise is welcome and needed.