Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: BSRed (49887)

User Topic: Her first Date Night
♂ 36622
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of my conditions of R was monthly date nights. We would alternate months picking and planning our dates. It was to get to know each other again and share an interest we have with each other.

For 19 months I was the only one to plan a date. It was a subject of frustration. I would think "you must not want to spend time with me", even though we would always have a great time when I would plan them. I would think "I am just not that important to you". It was none if those things. It was just plain old fear of failure.

Well Broevil finally planned one. Last night we went to a Sideshow and Burlesque show. It was awesome. We had so much fun and got so freaked out.

I hope it has given her the confidence to plan more.

BS 40
fWS 37 (SurprisinglyOkay)
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2843 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ 37154
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm happy for both of you!

Dday -9/23/2012

Posts: 2054 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, boy, I'd like to take my W to a burlesque show - I don't think I've close to a burlesque theater recently, though.

Chicho, I urge you to hold broevil's feet to the fire going forward - not because it will hurt, but because it won't hurt. All she has to do is to arrange a simple date - nothing spectacular. She deserves the sense of accomplishment she'll get from arranging something you both enjoy, and you deserve a rest.

It turns out my W is better at it than I am, so we've had a lot more fun since she started arranging the entertainment.

[This message edited by sisoon at 5:57 PM, June 21st (Friday)]

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 70 (22 in my head), Married 45+, together since 1965, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I'm not an exemplar. I share my own experience because it's all I know.

Posts: 12146 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Terrific update!! I'm so happy for you both.

Posts: 42025 | Registered: Mar 2011
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Nothing ever goes away until is has taught us everything we need to know. - Pema Chodron

Posts: 24901 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's wonderful! That's a date night that I would love to have!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 6304 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♂ 38140
Member # 38140
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is great! I am guilty of not doing enough of this as well. Rocky is so great at planning dates for us, and it is often intimidating because I fear my plans don't measure up.
For about two weeks, I stressed myself out about how to make her birthday special. I put together what was going to be the perfect family outing, and it truly felt great. Unfortunately the skies opened up and it poured on my plans. We ended up going to the local pizza place and had a wonderful time, and I realized that these dates don't have to be perfect. I'm sure she will recognize that as well.
Planning dates can awaken the creative beast that lies within. And even if it ends with just getting pizza, the beast is awake and hungry for more creative planning.

Sorry for TJ

Me: WS- 30s
Her: BS- 30s RockyMtn

Posts: 126 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:14 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad you had fun!

I love watching the two of you in your journey .

All the advice in the world will never help you until you help yourself. ---Fred VanAmburgh

Posts: 45514 | Registered: Sep 2007
Topic Posts: 8

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2015 All Rights Reserved.