This Topic is Archived
AFrayedKnot (original poster member #36622) posted at 12:18 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
One of my conditions of R was monthly date nights. We would alternate months picking and planning our dates. It was to get to know each other again and share an interest we have with each other.
For 19 months I was the only one to plan a date. It was a subject of frustration. I would think "you must not want to spend time with me", even though we would always have a great time when I would plan them. I would think "I am just not that important to you". It was none if those things. It was just plain old fear of failure.
Well Broevil finally planned one. Last night we went to a Sideshow and Burlesque show. It was awesome. We had so much fun and got so freaked out.
I hope it has given her the confidence to plan more. 
BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"
catlover50 ( member #37154) posted at 1:33 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
I'm happy for both of you!
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 11:57 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
Oh, boy, I'd like to take my W to a burlesque show - I don't think I've close to a burlesque theater recently, though.
Chicho, I urge you to hold broevil's feet to the fire going forward - not because it will hurt, but because it won't hurt. All she has to do is to arrange a simple date - nothing spectacular. She deserves the sense of accomplishment she'll get from arranging something you both enjoy, and you deserve a rest.
It turns out my W is better at it than I am, so we've had a lot more fun since she started arranging the entertainment.
[This message edited by sisoon at 5:57 PM, June 21st (Friday)]
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 12:29 AM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
Terrific update!! I'm so happy for you both.
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 1:24 AM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
Awesome! 
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 1:52 AM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
That's wonderful! That's a date night that I would love to have!
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Steppenwolf ( member #38140) posted at 4:07 AM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
This is great! I am guilty of not doing enough of this as well. Rocky is so great at planning dates for us, and it is often intimidating because I fear my plans don't measure up.
For about two weeks, I stressed myself out about how to make her birthday special. I put together what was going to be the perfect family outing, and it truly felt great. Unfortunately the skies opened up and it poured on my plans. We ended up going to the local pizza place and had a wonderful time, and I realized that these dates don't have to be perfect. I'm sure she will recognize that as well.
Planning dates can awaken the creative beast that lies within. And even if it ends with just getting pizza, the beast is awake and hungry for more creative planning.
Sorry for TJ
Me: WS- 30s
Her: BS- 30s RockyMtn
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 11:14 AM on Friday, June 28th, 2013
I'm glad you had fun!
I love watching the two of you in your journey .
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
This Topic is Archived
