Want to thank everyone who gave me support yesterday on my "Angry" post. It is critical, sometimes, just to get feelings validated by others who had been there. Someone had suggested, based on the wording of my post, that "this R is just not working for you" - and I guess the good news is that I read that and thought "no - that's not it - most of the time it's working just great - I have a better marriage than I had for about 6-8 years before the A". And I can stand back and see that. I can see how far my fWH has come - how much growth he's accomplished - how willing he is now, to talk about things that make him uncomfortable. How he's better at regularly displaying love and affection; better able to compromise, to share himself. I've become better too - better able to stand back and look at some of my behaviors that don't do anything good for a relationship.
Anyway - thanks y'all, for sharing... I went home from work feeling much lighter, and had a completely enjoyable and anger-free evening with fWH...
The grief within me has its own heartbeat. It has its own life, its own song. Part of me wants to resist the rhythms of my grief, yet as I surrender to the song, I learn to listen deep within myself-Alan Wolfelt