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Newest Member: terriblysorry (61534)

User Topic: Antidepressants led to WH infidelity?
♀ 39622
Member # 39622
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Brief background: I am 9 months pregnant and exactly 1 month ago my husband told me he loved me but wasn't in love with me and was leaving me. A week later I found out about the other woman. Since that time he has said he wants to reconcile and stay together, but has essentially blamed the affair on antidepressant medication saying that if he hadn't been taking SSRIs he never would have cheated on me or wanted to leave me. Has anyone else had this expereince? What is the liklihood that my husband is sincere about reconciliaiton? I should add that he also "kissed" another woman at a conference he went to two weeks prior to sleeping with the other girl. He has lied about both. I just don't know if I can trust anything he says any more. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to cope.

Posts: 52 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Oregon
♀ 10347
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some will blame their cheating on most anything...because they were depressed, because they were drunk, because they were NOT depressed (and taking antidepressents to make sure) and some do it because of what they claim are shortfalls in the M, and some do it because they don't really think there is anything wrong with cheating in the first place.

For the record, I think antidepressants are overprescribed and may be harmful with many unusual mental effects that may contribute to unfavorable behavior, but no, I do not agree they could "cause" your H to cheat. It was a choice he made.

As far as the possibility to R, if I were you, I would look for profound remorse from him, which means not blaming it on anything but himself, and doing everything in his power to show you how sorry he is.

Posts: 6826 | Registered: Apr 2006
Member # 14054
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PM sent your way...

Posts: 433 | Registered: Mar 2007
♀ 29541
Member # 29541
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry you are here, Preggo.

Your husband is blaming antidepressants for fucking another woman? So I guess he didn't make the choice.

Until he can own the choices he has made (this sometimes takes awhile) reconciliation will not happen. He chose to cheat on his pregnant wife, SSRIs didn't force him, its his convenient way to blame something outside of himself.

You take care of you. Be gentle with yourself. Drink lots of water and try to eat regularly to keep up your energy.

Posts: 1424 | Registered: Sep 2010
♀ 17217
Member # 17217
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow - I didn't realize that anti-depressants cause married men to meet married women, kiss them - tell them they love them - and then have sex with them. Anti-depressents make cheating husbands lie to their pregnant wives? Personally - I'd rather have a depressed husband!

Ya know those commericals - that list all the side effects -they should really include this too.

I know you're intelligent enought not to believe that - I know, we WANT to believe - my H told me some outlandish things too - deep inside I knew he was lying - it was ME that couldn't face the truth.

Me: BS
H had LTA with co-worker
Both mid-50s
Two sons - grown and on their own
DD - April 2010
Please note registration date is not correct. See my profile for details
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 1288 | Registered: Nov 2007
♀ 34262
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As a physician who prescribes them I can clearly tell you that they do not twist up your thought processes to make you cheat. They may give you more motivation and energy to do what you wanted in the first place. And most antidepressants are SSRIs that decrease the sex drive and performance. So I call bullshit all the way around on this one.

Me: BS 48
Her: FWS 51 (both family med MDs; together 21 years)
OW: who cares (PhD)
Dday: 10/11: 11/11 TT for months; NC 8/12
"band aids don't fix bullet holes" Taylor Swift
I NEVER mind medical ???

Posts: 3006 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Here
♀ 35896
Member # 35896
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine blamed his on accutane


BS - 43 (me)
WS - 38
DD - 10
D Day - 6/2/11 EA (would have been a PA if the OW was game)
D Day 2 - 2/8/17 EA again flirting but the girl wasn't interested just using him

Posts: 176 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Maryland
♀ 39073
Member # 39073
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Many antidepressants kill sex drive.

Me - BS (53) Him-WS(58)
Her OW(55) HighSchoolGirlfriend
Together 30 years Married 28 Kids 24,21,18
D day Feb 26 2013 after 20 months
D day March 4 they met again "to say goodbye"
D day April 2 found out about secret email

Posts: 195 | Registered: Apr 2013
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wxh blamed his affairs on the anti depressant Effexor. I blame him.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 9168 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
♀ 38288
Member # 38288
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine blamed it on his increased sex drive after getting off of Lexapro. He said it was intense and we weren't having sex at the time so....

BW 57, WH 66, 19 yo twins
Married 28 years
2 years of $$$$$$ prostitutes.

Posts: 288 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: CO
Topic Posts: 10

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