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Antidepressants led to WH infidelity?

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PreggoBS posted 6/21/2013 09:27 AM

Brief background: I am 9 months pregnant and exactly 1 month ago my husband told me he loved me but wasn't in love with me and was leaving me. A week later I found out about the other woman. Since that time he has said he wants to reconcile and stay together, but has essentially blamed the affair on antidepressant medication saying that if he hadn't been taking SSRIs he never would have cheated on me or wanted to leave me. Has anyone else had this expereince? What is the liklihood that my husband is sincere about reconciliaiton? I should add that he also "kissed" another woman at a conference he went to two weeks prior to sleeping with the other girl. He has lied about both. I just don't know if I can trust anything he says any more. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to cope.

Bobbi_sue posted 6/21/2013 09:32 AM

Some will blame their cheating on most anything...because they were depressed, because they were drunk, because they were NOT depressed (and taking antidepressents to make sure) and some do it because of what they claim are shortfalls in the M, and some do it because they don't really think there is anything wrong with cheating in the first place.

For the record, I think antidepressants are overprescribed and may be harmful with many unusual mental effects that may contribute to unfavorable behavior, but no, I do not agree they could "cause" your H to cheat. It was a choice he made.

As far as the possibility to R, if I were you, I would look for profound remorse from him, which means not blaming it on anything but himself, and doing everything in his power to show you how sorry he is.

windows posted 6/21/2013 09:35 AM

PM sent your way...

brokenblackbird posted 6/21/2013 12:28 PM

I am sorry you are here, Preggo.

Your husband is blaming antidepressants for fucking another woman? So I guess he didn't make the choice.

Until he can own the choices he has made (this sometimes takes awhile) reconciliation will not happen. He chose to cheat on his pregnant wife, SSRIs didn't force him, its his convenient way to blame something outside of himself.

You take care of you. Be gentle with yourself. Drink lots of water and try to eat regularly to keep up your energy.

LivingALie posted 6/21/2013 13:15 PM

Wow - I didn't realize that anti-depressants cause married men to meet married women, kiss them - tell them they love them - and then have sex with them. Anti-depressents make cheating husbands lie to their pregnant wives? Personally - I'd rather have a depressed husband!

Ya know those commericals - that list all the side effects -they should really include this too.

I know you're intelligent enought not to believe that - I know, we WANT to believe - my H told me some outlandish things too - deep inside I knew he was lying - it was ME that couldn't face the truth.

purplejacket4 posted 6/21/2013 14:23 PM

As a physician who prescribes them I can clearly tell you that they do not twist up your thought processes to make you cheat. They may give you more motivation and energy to do what you wanted in the first place. And most antidepressants are SSRIs that decrease the sex drive and performance. So I call bullshit all the way around on this one.

ok4now posted 6/21/2013 19:10 PM

Mine blamed his on accutane


LearningToFly posted 6/21/2013 20:15 PM

Many antidepressants kill sex drive.

Williesmom posted 6/21/2013 20:17 PM

My wxh blamed his affairs on the anti depressant Effexor. I blame him.

letitout posted 6/21/2013 21:06 PM

Mine blamed it on his increased sex drive after getting off of Lexapro. He said it was intense and we weren't having sex at the time so....

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