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Question about eHarmony

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OnceInALifetime posted 6/21/2013 09:35 AM

I decided to give this site a shot, and just signed up. Went to send a message to a potential match last evening, and the default seems to be to initiate things by sending 5 questions from a list of canned questions.

The "guided communication" seems stiff and elementary-school like to me, so I instead jumped straight to email and sent her a message.

For you eHarmony users, do you like the guided communication? Does a guy who wants to jump straight to email seem overly pushy?

The woman I messaged accepted my request for email, which eHarmony played up as her being just about ready to marry me, but she did not write me a response. I'm not sure what proper (or expected) protocol is. The ball is still firmly in her court, right?

cayc posted 6/21/2013 10:24 AM

The ball is still firmly in her court, right?

Uh, no. No, the ball is firmly in YOUR court. You asked permission to email her. She said yes. Now you are supposed to email her.

little turtle posted 6/21/2013 10:26 AM

I think you should write her an email since you sent the request for email. Just like when you ask for a person's phone number, it's then up to you to use it.

OnceInALifetime posted 6/21/2013 11:37 AM

The way it works, I send an email. That notifies her that an email was sent to her by me. She then chooses whether or not to permit email communication with me. If she permits it, then she can read the contents of my email, and I'm notified that email communication with her is now open.

So, that makes me think the ball's in her court. But it's all a little vague. Haven't figured out the workings of this dating site yet.

Amazonia posted 6/21/2013 11:42 AM

I would say the ball is in her court, since she has read your email and can choose to respond or not. But I've never used eHarm, so I'm not familiar with all their guided comm, etc.

little turtle posted 6/21/2013 15:57 PM

Oh, I see. So you sent her an email and she decided to read it? In that case, yes, it's up to her to respond to the email or not.

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