SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

Why can't he just leave me alone?

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

rumorhasit posted 6/21/2013 11:11 AM

Bit of background info- X and I have both been a part of what can best be called a neighborhood watch group. He's involved in the safety patrol part, I work in the community outreach part. Mrs. Robinson used to be involved but she slept with one of the members, and when she realized he was not going to leave his gf she flipped out and quit and cussed out the group leader idk why. She was subsequently banned from ever rejoining the group or attending events.

That was in february. Last month she sent an email out to the group saying that I am a crazy stalker and need to be banned and should not be near X. The result was a more defined split between the outreach and patrol groups, me being in one, X in another (all done without my input or notification, I didn't even know about the email) No announcement was made.
Apparently since then X has been badgering everyone that I need to be banned (awkward, since I haven't done anything wrong or even seen him in two months) So this week it came to a point of dealing with it. The group leader sent out an email stating that I am not a member of the group proper, only the auxiliary outreach group under the leadership of Awesome Lady (name changed) Furthermore I am now on the "banned list" and not allowed at trainings or patrols (I didn't go anyway...) and if anyone had questions talk to him.

It has effectively changed nothing, it was just rude and done to appease X. I have left him alone to do what he wants. I don't know why he and Mrs. Robinson felt the need to ensure that I was "banned" when I havent been causing a problem or showing up where I don't belong. I mean why was it not enough to boot me from the main group, I had to be banned?

It feels like bullying, I mind my own business and they come after me anyway.

Vulcanized posted 6/21/2013 11:19 AM

I don't know why he and Mrs. Robinson felt the need to ensure that I was "banned" when I havent been causing a problem or showing up where I don't belong.

I'm thinking it's b/c she doesn't want you anywhere near your X.
If she keeps you & X from ever interacting, she may keep a tighter hold on him, kwim? As in, no fond reminiscing, no joking, chatting, no possibility of getting back together.

rumorhasit posted 6/21/2013 12:30 PM

Its so silly though because if the outreach group does a homeless handout or other project and he chooses to go, I have every right to be there. I'm only banned from things I didn't do anyway! Lol.

And he really wanted me to bring DS for visitation, I insisted on NC. If I wanted to have fun, happy family time with him, I could. I choose not to because he is acting like a self absorbed POS, so she can have him. They deserve each other.

sparkysable posted 6/21/2013 12:52 PM

I'd want to find out WHY they felt the need to ban you, based on his word only. I'm one who likes to set the record straight though. He's probably telling some lie about you and they are believing them.

movingforward13 posted 6/21/2013 15:51 PM

I feel like they are trying to get a reaction from you to bond themselves together even stronger. Again, the focal point for them is you. I wouldn't even respond or say anything to any one about it since it really doesn't matter to you. Lets see what they come up with next... Consider making reports just in case if it turns harassing.

Crescita posted 6/21/2013 16:04 PM

I'm thinking it's b/c she doesn't want you anywhere near your X.
If she keeps you & X from ever interacting, she may keep a tighter hold on him, kwim? As in, no fond reminiscing, no joking, chatting, no possibility of getting back together.

Ding ding ding!

Regardless of your Xs reasons, Id be tempted to call the group leader and give him a piece of my mind. Banning you based on rumors is bad enough, but to notify you publicly, oh hell no. That is not the way to run any kind of organization.

rumorhasit posted 6/21/2013 18:08 PM

Yeah, I have thought about telling the leader of the group that a personal call, or even email, prior to the public notice would have been respectful. Awesome Lady who runs the outreach group told me, but since he was the one who made the decision I feel like it was cowardly for him to not tell me himself. What ever happened to integrity?

But I'm not going to afford this any sort of attention. Its whatever. No feeding the drama llamas.

Not that my action, or inaction, matters. It will always be something. If I'm nice, its to be manipulative, if I'm not nice, then I am mean. This is partly why the relationship ended. Mrs. Robinson convinced him to be totally paranoid about me and my intentions. And even now, with NC, it continues...

Coraline posted 6/21/2013 18:15 PM

No way would I take that crap! I'd look into whether you could file some sort of harassment or libel charges or something. Fuck that shit. Once they put it in writing, it becomes libel, if what they say isn't true and it's meant to ruin your reputation or otherwise cause you hardship. I'm not a lawyer, but I think you have a good case, and I'd go for it, because screw them. That's a good reason, right? No, actually because they ARE harming you, by excluding you from a group in your community, and I really think you ought to follow that up with the leader of that group. That's more than bullying. He is bullying you! What your ex and his OW are doing is way worse.

Holly-Isis posted 6/21/2013 20:10 PM

Ditto on the libel angle. At the very least mentioning it to the leader of the group might have him rethinking his procedure next time.

Hell, they believe the tramp that already screwed one involved group member and is now shacking up with another?

Wonder if he's been in her pants or wants to be?

rumorhasit posted 6/21/2013 20:44 PM

If I curl up and make myself as nonthreatening as possible, maybe they'll think the job is done and finally turn on each other.

gonnabe2016 posted 6/21/2013 21:22 PM

I disagree with ignoring this.

if anyone had questions talk to him

Call Napoleon up and tell him that YOU have a question....and that question is W.T.F?? (well, word the question a bit more tactfully than that )

You have been treated unfairly and unjustly and that deserves an explanation.

This is not a matter of feeding or NOT feeding drama llamas. This is an issue of sticking up for yourself.

rumorhasit posted 6/22/2013 01:24 AM

I have requested to speak with him. We'll see what happens.

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.