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Newest Member: Giupeppe (46032)

User Topic: I took the plunge and filed
brokenandconfuse
♀ 39381
Member # 39381
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

God help me...

I know in and amongst all of this insanity that I had to file. The feelings for him just aren't there. I have no respect for him (more like disgust). All of the alcohol, lies, betrayals, abuse....still it is sad and I am a very non-confrontational.

I pray that this was the right decision. I have huge issues with trying to make good choices and I can't forgive myself for mistakes.

I have had to go NC as much as possible, because he emotional and mentally makes me crazy!!! I can't talk to him or I will be left confused, depressed, and crying my eyes out..topped with anxiety and no sleep.

I really never thought that he would do these things and I did think that he loved me, but I didn't know the rest of the story...

This was a huge leap for me and I am going to need all the support I can get to stick with it and do this. I am weak and he knows how to get me to do things his way.


2DS, 2DD
BS-Me 32
WH-Him 43
DDay-All 14 years of our relationship. 3PA's, 3 one night stands, and 6 EA's and still counting as we go. Gained enough strength to face it 11/2012

Getting Divorced


Posts: 101 | Registered: May 2013 | From: United States
Reality
♀ 39077
Member # 39077
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs, Broken. It was brave of you to take the step. You know, better than anyone else in the situation, when you've done all you can and it's time to move on.

Yes, maintain NC. Your soon to be ex has a load of mental processes that will make him say horrible things to you. You've already listened to years of the same things. It's way past "enough is enough."

We're all with you. Get safe and be safe.


Posts: 292 | Registered: Apr 2013
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wishing you lots of mojo and strength. You know what you need to do. I hope you soon feel relief and happiness


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8893 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ 34716
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lots of strength to you.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1309 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Faithful w/Love
♀ 33128
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lots of strenth to you and I am proud of you for doing what you need to do for you.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"


Posts: 2890 | Registered: Aug 2011
brokenandconfuse
♀ 39381
Member # 39381
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks to everyone.


2DS, 2DD
BS-Me 32
WH-Him 43
DDay-All 14 years of our relationship. 3PA's, 3 one night stands, and 6 EA's and still counting as we go. Gained enough strength to face it 11/2012

Getting Divorced


Posts: 101 | Registered: May 2013 | From: United States
RyeBread
♂ 37437
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have huge issues with trying to make good choices and I can't forgive myself for mistakes.

I struggle with this very same thing.

If you feel in your heart that this is what you need to do then it is the right choice. When you are feeling guilty or questioning your decision you can always go back to your heart and get that peaceful calm reassurance that this is what needs to happen.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
DeadMumWalking
♀ 25341
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((brokenandconfuse))))

sending STRENGTH and MOJO your way!!

Lean on us, we are here for you.

((((brokenandconfuse))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2713 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you. I am also very non confrontational. I admire your actions towards self preservation. Hope to be there soon.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5276 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
selkiescot
♀ 23777
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you! Stans Strong. heres some strong mojo for you.!


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1411 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
meplusfour
♀ 38958
Member # 38958
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending good thoughts and strength to you. Do not waiver in your conviction that this is the right thing to do for you and your precious children.

[This message edited by meplusfour at 4:09 PM, June 21st (Friday)]


BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

Posts: 399 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs))) Sending thoughts of much mojo to you. Hey, you might want to go check out the separated and divorced forum. There's a lot of smart people there too, who might be able to help you out.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5236 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((brokenandconfused))) I'm so sorry. Even when it's the "right" thing, it hurts like hell.

You say that you hope it's the right decision. Just know that NO decision is irrevocable; if your husband steps up to the plate, and you together choose to move forward, then you can halt a divorce, or remarry---or WHATEVER, depending on the situation.

For now, you have done what is right, with the information you have and the situation you're in.

Millions of hugs to you.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 9146 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
joeboo
♂ 31089
Member # 31089
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wishing you strength and peace. Lately I have struggled with what to do. I admire your strength to act.


Posts: 1214 | Registered: Feb 2011
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, June 21st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BC, when I filed for divorce it isn't what I *wanted* to do. Heck, Sultan didn't want it either (and if I listen to him now, he STILL doesn't want it ).....but I just absolutely could no longer live with or tolerate the crazy-making and mind-fucking that was happening.

And I am still fending off the "I don't want this" mantras from him. BUT. It HAS to happen. Divorcing him is the healthy and right thing for ME. It's definitely NOT been easy to 'stay the course' and I did veer off track last May and suspended the divorce. Only to have to re-start it 7 weeks later.

Some days it is just a matter of staying on course and plodding along through sheer force of will. Not easy but definitely do-able. You're worth it and you don't deserve to have to live your life being abused by the person that is supposed to love you.

It'll be okay. It may get 'bad' for a while....but there will be an end to it.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8252 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
brokenandconfuse
♀ 39381
Member # 39381
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still have to sign the papers, so H was out all weekend trying to convince me not too. All it does is confuse me and make me cry non-stop. I am not the one who did this!!!! Why make me feel like I am a horrible person because I can't take it anymore:-(


2DS, 2DD
BS-Me 32
WH-Him 43
DDay-All 14 years of our relationship. 3PA's, 3 one night stands, and 6 EA's and still counting as we go. Gained enough strength to face it 11/2012

Getting Divorced


Posts: 101 | Registered: May 2013 | From: United States
Topic Posts: 16

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