I know in and amongst all of this insanity that I had to file. The feelings for him just aren't there. I have no respect for him (more like disgust). All of the alcohol, lies, betrayals, abuse....still it is sad and I am a very non-confrontational.
I pray that this was the right decision. I have huge issues with trying to make good choices and I can't forgive myself for mistakes.
I have had to go NC as much as possible, because he emotional and mentally makes me crazy!!! I can't talk to him or I will be left confused, depressed, and crying my eyes out..topped with anxiety and no sleep.
I really never thought that he would do these things and I did think that he loved me, but I didn't know the rest of the story...
This was a huge leap for me and I am going to need all the support I can get to stick with it and do this. I am weak and he knows how to get me to do things his way.
Getting Divorced
Yes, maintain NC. Your soon to be ex has a load of mental processes that will make him say horrible things to you. You've already listened to years of the same things. It's way past "enough is enough."
We're all with you. Get safe and be safe.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"
I have huge issues with trying to make good choices and I can't forgive myself for mistakes.
I struggle with this very same thing.
If you feel in your heart that this is what you need to do then it is the right choice. When you are feeling guilty or questioning your decision you can always go back to your heart and get that peaceful calm reassurance that this is what needs to happen.
sending STRENGTH and MOJO your way!!
Lean on us, we are here for you.
((((brokenandconfuse))))
[This message edited by meplusfour at 4:09 PM, June 21st (Friday)]
D-Day, June 10, 2012
You say that you hope it's the right decision. Just know that NO decision is irrevocable; if your husband steps up to the plate, and you together choose to move forward, then you can halt a divorce, or remarry---or WHATEVER, depending on the situation.
For now, you have done what is right, with the information you have and the situation you're in.
Millions of hugs to you.
And I am still fending off the "I don't want this" mantras from him. BUT. It HAS to happen. Divorcing him is the healthy and right thing for ME. It's definitely NOT been easy to 'stay the course' and I did veer off track last May and suspended the divorce. Only to have to re-start it 7 weeks later.
Some days it is just a matter of staying on course and plodding along through sheer force of will. Not easy but definitely do-able. You're worth it and you don't deserve to have to live your life being abused by the person that is supposed to love you.
It'll be okay. It may get 'bad' for a while....but there will be an end to it.
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
