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STBXWW moves out tonight or tomorrow morning at the latest. L has all documentation needed to send paperwork to courts for the official 1 year waiting period to begin with todays date on it. In-house S is almost over! All this said I am pissed and anxious right now. She isn't fucking gone yet...she has been packing all week and I can't see any noticeable difference. I am pretty sure it's a perception thing but damn it's not moving fast enough. I know it's the eagerness to get her out of the house. I have been waiting months for this day to finally get here and it's taking forever.

I am going out tonight after work to avoid being in the house. When I get back if she hasn't packed all her shit up I am starting to box shit up and leave it on the front lawn. Okay in the garage but still how hard is it to box your shit up and leave. This is what she wanted so get a move on. if it was me leaving my shit would have been packed in about 2 hours. She isn't packing up the entire house, all she is taking is her clothes, pictures, some of the kids things, and books. I could have boxed all her shit up in 2 hours. Yes it wouldn't have been neatly packed but it would have been packed up. She can tell I am pissed but I refuse to make a scene. She asked me what was wrong I just said nothing, 180 and NC still in effect.

I know this to will pass. The same thing happened leading up to going to the lawyer to file. I just want it over with. I am a big ball of nervous energy but now I am ready to move on with my life and she is holding me up.

I want my damn house back to do with as I please. Those shitty curtains get taking down. The crappy furniture she bought gets tossed. I can redo the flooring, paint the interior whatever color I want. I can finally buy a new TV because she won't be using it. Yes that one was petty on my part but why buy it and risk her taking it with her. (Sorry dog lovers) Goodbye to that little crappy dog that keep shitting all over my house because STBX was to damn lazy to train it. Baby gates eventually kept the poo to 1 room. Goodbye to passive aggressive bullshit. Goodbye to the TV being on at night because she can't sleep without the tv on. Yes I could hear it from the other room. Hello to not answering the phone when she calls. Hello to, "oh some shit happened and you thought you could call to ask for my help or opinion, F that do it your damn self." Hello to finally not having to walk around the house wondering why every fucking lamp is on in the house like the boogeyman is real. Hello to my kids having normal bed times when they are with me. Hello to heatlhy diet for my kids when they are with me. Goodbye to self sabotaging STBX and her woah is me attitude. Goodbye crazy train...this was not the hippest trip in town and Don Cornelius was not amused.

I am not crazy, I am not losing it. I just needed to vent or I was going to explode. I will keep repeating it's almost over, inhouse-S is almost over, it's almost over, just a few more hours!

Wow, I am proud of you. I think she is stalling, she doesn't really want to leave. She doesn't want to lose you either. But, she wants to be selfish. It may be starting to hit her that she will not have her safe place.

Please rid the curtins. I hate curtins I love Roman blinds and toppers but not curtins. LOL.

Redo the house how you want it. Get rid of the triggers.

Will be thinking of you! Good Luck.

It is the best feeling when the trigger is finally pulled. When we finally S, I bought myself a cute little house and have done as I please. It's great. I don't have anyone arguing with me about how to decorate anything, my house is ME.

Hang in there!

I cannot tell you the tears of joy and relief I cried when I got the keys to my new place. A space that was all mine - one that he would never again set foot in.

He would not suck the joy of out this space - he would not breathe in the air nor would I smell the stench of his negativity, tension, stress, his anxiety.

I was reborn free that day and I wept like a baby. I think we both wondered if I could really do it. We both underestimated me. He is the only one underestimating me now.

Its almost over friend. Take deep breaths - this chapter is closed but these last few blank pages.

Soon she will be the ghost of fucktards past. A-freaking-men.

Got the keys back! She still has a few things to get later and some kids stuff to work through but the house is mine again. One more step down now to get started on that year long waiting period. She even had a mini-breakdown apologizing again. I just stared her in the face and said I am not bitter I am just ready to move on. She handed over the keys and left. I can't stop grinning! Always forward never back!

Do you have to wait a year? In Australia we have formal 'in-house' separation so that time is included in the requisite year 12 months between separation and divorce.

Yay for your freedom - finally!

There really is nothing better than being free and at peace in your own space.

For me one of the best things has been that my dogs now sleep through the night as they are no longer being woken up by him sneaking out to call his current vjayjay.