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Update on Custody

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Sweetness8 posted 6/21/2013 19:12 PM

Just thought I should update, due to reading my past posts from May, and realizing that I have come further than I thought in the way of custody. My lawyer is a tough chick, and I adore her. I informed her of the whole situation with daughter and husband in past and current. She wanted to sue directly; I do not want to ruin his life, I just need to protect my child, who he has harmed, whether she understands it or not. He now officially hates me because "I told", and my daughter doesn't understand why I would tell anyone and get daddy in trouble. I'm gonna protect my girl no matter what! He will NOT get 50/50 custody, nor will he get overnights with either children until daughter turns eighteen, then it is up to her. My son can spend overnights with ex when my daughter turns eighteen. He's pretty much tied up by the balls by what he's done, so he has been angrily almost-agreeable to this point. However, I keep getting addendums to the agreement that my lawyer and I have proposed. Today, he asked to have visitations on his non-custodial Sunday for seven hours if he could not make it on his custodial Sunday. WTF? Why am I giving up my weekend away from his asshole-ishness and pissy influence over my children just because his schedule doesn't work that week? Have any of you had experience with this haggling over the custody bits? I have not agreed to the above at all yet, but it irritates me.
Thanks for reading, as always.

Coraline posted 6/21/2013 19:31 PM

How far in advance would you get notice? Personally, I would do it if you had a week's notice that he was going to miss his custodial Sunday, so two weeks notice before he'd take your Sunday, AND you had no big plans already made at that point - parties to attend weekend trips, concerts, whatever. If you knew two weeks ahead of your Sunday, that's enough time to prevent you making plans on all but a few occasions like those sorts of things, right? So I'd do it if those conditions were met, but not if he just wants to cancel last minute and then take your week.

tesla posted 6/21/2013 20:38 PM

Today, he asked to have visitations on his non-custodial Sunday for seven hours if he could not make it on his custodial Sunday. fucking way to that. Too much potential for chaos and general mind-fuckery.

Now, that said...ex-shat and I have set our own visitation schedule...but it is a set schedule. He still has to give notice if he wants to switch...which, I will if it works for me and Teslet. The day that either of us starts disagreeing about it, we revert to the state specified schedule (that I had written into the decree).

devistatedmom posted 6/22/2013 18:30 PM

No way you should agree to him basically being able to claim whichever sundays he wants. The schedule is a set schedule. He may ask you to switch, and if it is convenient, you can, but if it's not and he still can't/won't take the kids, then he forfeits that visitation. Do NOT sign off on the way he wants it!!!

Sweetness8 posted 6/23/2013 19:45 PM

Thanks for your quick and helpful answers! It was not sitting well with me at all, so I wrote my lawyer and said no, gave her my reasoning. I guess he could take me to court. Other than this, custody is actually proceeding fairly well.

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