Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

An apology

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

musiclovingmom posted 6/21/2013 21:10 PM

I wrote, and sent, my anger to my H (he's working out of town at the moment). I've been asking him to write me an apology with specific things he is sorry for. He responded to my letter with this one and I was floored! He is not so good at articulating specifics and the amount of effort he put into this is astounding. Sure it took 10 months, but wow.

I have been working on this for quite a while even though you haven't seen me do it. You asked me for a specific list of things I'm sorry for and not just a general apology. This is my list as of today:
First and foremost I'm sorry that I have shown you a man who is not the real me. I'm sorry that I have constantly lied to your face even when you have tried to call me out on them. I'm sorry that I shared something with other people that I should've shared with only you.
I'm sorry that there is not a single day that goes by that is not ruined by thoughts or feelings of what I've done to you.
I'm sorry that I have left you without transportation and money.
I'm sorry that you can't look at me without wondering if I'm doing it again.
I'm sorry that you can no longer believe anything I say.
I'm sorry that I've caused you anger and heartache that makes you question yourself.
I'm sorry that I've made you feel like a coward, or gullible, or stupid.
I'm sorry that you feel like other people are laughing at you behind your back.
I'm sorry that the other people who were involved will never feel remorse, or guilt, or the kind of pain your experiencing.
I'm sorry that I can't take the pain away and make it stop.
I'm sorry that I say I'm sorry all the time but don't explain why I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I am selfish.
I'm sorry that I don't treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
I'm sorry that I killed the man you used to know and love.
I'm sorry that I can't remember the exact details that you need to know to heal.
Most of all I'm sorry that I've hurt you and that I have caused you to cry
I love you with all my heart, I'm not perfect and we both know I'm gonna screw up on occasion. I don't want to ever take a chance of losing you and my family. It's too perfect to throw away

TheClimb posted 6/21/2013 21:21 PM

That just might have been worth the wait! Perhaps this should go in the Healing Library.

karmahappens posted 6/21/2013 21:23 PM

Damn, that made me cry.

Nice MLM, really nice.

hurt&unsure posted 6/21/2013 21:30 PM

those are words I think a lot of us are waiting to hear.

Markay81 posted 6/21/2013 22:07 PM

wow I loved reading this. Makes my heart feel there is hope. I never thought about asking my WH for a letter. Now I just might have to do that.

AFrayedKnot posted 6/22/2013 04:07 AM

Damn, that made me cry.

^^me too

Skan posted 6/22/2013 22:59 PM

That's a lovely, specific letter.

CATransplant posted 6/23/2013 00:19 AM

That was truly a beautiful loving apology. I want those words to flow from his pen to my H heart. You are truly blessed.

musiclovingmom posted 6/23/2013 22:04 PM

Still today I tear up reading this. I have it saved and flagged in my inbox so that I can easily find it whenever I start to freak out. The next several days are going to be rough (thankfully, I'm teaching VBS, so I have a lot to keep me busy). I'm so glad I have this to remind me that his heart and head are both in our marriage.

TXBW68 posted 6/24/2013 11:43 AM

I teared up too!

My H said a lot of those things to me just yesterday.

It's wonderful to know that they finally understand what their selfish behavior has put us through. That email is definitely a keeper!!

twodoves posted 6/24/2013 11:46 AM

Yep, definitely words a lot of us would love to hear.

That is a wonderful apology.

LivinginLimbo posted 6/24/2013 11:48 AM

Definitely worth the wait.

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 ®. All Rights Reserved.