"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
I am so pissed right now. I just have to get this out so maybe I can get some sleep tonight.
DS20 is my son from my M with my 1st W. xWW never treated him well at all when he was growing up. He has ADHD and as a result had quite a few behavioral issues. She was always quick to blame him for things and ignore the same behavior from her own boys. She punished him very severely for the smallest infraction and then just brushed off any punishments that her boys deserved. I love my step sons very much but the disparity in how she treated them vs how she treated DS20 and DD22 drove me crazy and still does. DD22 is still angry at the way she was treated.
Well DS20 has basically made amends with xWW. She truely cares about him and treats him well. He is very close to DSS17 and often spends time with him including spending the night at their apartment. Great. I am good with that.
DS20 has been in a bit of trouble with the law. I posted a while back about him getting stopped and arrested for marajuana possession with the intent to distribute. Another problem that I not posted about is that he cashed a bad check for some guy that was trying to rip him off. They concocted a scheme to pass a bad check off to the bank and pull out the money. The DA did not believe that he was scammed because he tried to cash a second check which actually bounced.
Last Tuesday was his arraignment hearing. He pled guilty and got 4 years probabtion, 40 hours community service. Has to go to AA 2x a week. Plus a $2000 fine plus court costs. Stressful but all things considered as good as we could get.
xWW asks him what happened and when he told her she asked how he was going to pay his fine. She tells me that he said "Oh Dad will pay it. He has plenty of money" (I've been paying off his lawyer for the past 6 months and have one month left - he wil be paying me back).
Then tonight I texted him before going to bed to see if he was coming home. He said he was staying there tonight but he would be home tomorrow. I reminded him that I was going to a moonlight sailing race tomorrow night that I wanted him to come with me to. I thought it would be a good chance for us to spend some time together. He said yeah if he is back in time He is going to OM's family BBQ.
I am livid. Suddenly I am not so tired anymore. I have to play nicey nicey with xWW for the sake of my 3 little kids while I hear how she hates me and DD22 and doesn't need me for anything (except the money I give her twice each month - I had minor surgery under general anesthsia last week. The only communication I got from her was "When are you going to deposit my money?"; How about are you OK?)
So I finally had enough and texted him that I am tired of being taken advantage of. He claims he is just going to spend time with DSS17 and not to see OM but come on. He is playing happy family with OM and xWW and the whole gang. This just really hurts. With all I do for him over and over and over again. And I just keep getting walked on or told what I want to hear.
And DSS17 and I were supposed to go take his car to the shop to try to get it fixed for emissions so he has something to drive when he starts school. So I guess that's not happening. Considering he called me earlier in the week to find out when we could go I would think if his plans changed then he would at least let me know.
Sorry for rambling like this. I am just so stressed and really pissed off right now. Just typing this out has helped quite a bit. Maybe I can start calming down. Thanks for listening.
I wish I had some wine in the house right now.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie