I am old enough to be her mother. Definitly don't want to do anything to get into legal trouble. I would not make threats of any kind. I just want her to know everything backfired on her and how sad it must be to feel the only way to keep a man in her life is to blackmail him.
Like you, hurting, there have been many things I've wanted to tell her, like you feel, but she will have to learn them herself, as I did. I even feel bad for her and wanted at one point to write and make sure she knew the true depth of deceit Perv is capable of, but I imagine she will learn it someday herself-and already is.
One recommendation is to write it all out, but don't send it. It could backfire on you even with your good intentions-many things get twisted in the world of OW in Perv's instance-I speak of "her" so as not to generalize-I don't know about OW in your WH's case, but I also don't ever hear of anything good or what we want coming out of correspondence with such people.
OW in Perv's case "won" and he abandoned us, but my comforts are starting to slowly accumulate. I've sometimes been suspicious that Perv has been blackmailed or threatened, but I also am aware of life enough to know that he made the choice, regardless of how it all went down. He's paying dearly now.
I'm glad it's working out for you and hope your M will be stronger for it.
This is a popular topic on Si so I imagine others will come along with things to say.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
I just want her to know the blackmailing didn't work. I know she is very unstable and I do worry about her parents coming back at me in some way.
If she is mentally unstable, then taunting her is prolly not a great idea. Why would her parents come back at you?
I just want her to know everything backfired on her and how sad it must be to feel the only way to keep a man in her life is to blackmail him.
Either let it go. Or write it out & post it here. DO NOT give OW an ounce of attention. Don't even let it know you think about it. It wants attention; don't let it have any.
Writing to OW is inviting her back to create drama. Don't let her know she means anything to you now or in the future.
By all means, write it out for yourself, but don't send it to her. Whatever you have to say, she wouldn't really hear anyway.
Totally ignoring her would be enough to let her know it all backfired on her.
Yep. I know it feels inactive, but believe us when we tell you that the world's most effective way to tell them they're meaningless is by not wasting our breath.
Ignore her. That would be the most insulting. Work on you and your life. Far more productive.
but... I could go see the OW any time I want, but I know it would give her something else to laugh about behind my back....hey,,, I've just had a brilliant idea. Get the PI to get pix of her with the OM I just found out about, and the next time she and my XH are out to dinner,,, when she goes to the restroom, I could have a friend hand him the dated pix of her w/ this other guy!!!!
My children are not home, so I have time to do all this daydreaming! LOL
[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 4:34 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)]
[This message edited by hurtingarmywife at 6:37 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)]