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Help! I think I fell into OW's trap!

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PrincessPeach06 posted 6/22/2013 13:22 PM

We have ignored her texts/calls/messages since DDay and we told her NC. She persists and we just block block block.

But today she sent a frantic message saying she wrote WS a letter and addressed it to her work and her husband found out and would try and find him.

I freaked (for our saftey and my kids, I don't know this guy!) and sent her a text saying I wanted her husbands number. She called and I was very calm and kept telling her I had nothing to say to her and just wanted her husbands number. She kept getting angry and asking what I wanted to say to him and I wouldn't budge and finally hung up.

She texted it later to me and said he can only text and not talk (huh?) and then he started texting but I refuse to text him any info. He says he simply cannot talk as he has no landline.

Now we are realizing the only way to hopefully get rid of psycho is to get ahold of her husband but we can't figure out how to reach him. All the numbers I paid to find are old landlines and we live 5 hours away! Help!!

MovingUpward posted 6/22/2013 13:25 PM

I find it interesting that he can text but not talk. I don't know of a cell plan that is text only and no talk capabilities. My gut is scream that this is OW pretending to be her H.

If you have enough evidence of harassment from OW then go to the local police and talk about filing charges.

ButterflyGirl posted 6/22/2013 13:30 PM

Yeah, I don't think you have her husband's number.. Would be too easy for her to give you the number of a friend or whoever..

I agree to go to the police if you are feeling unsafe. I would bet she is just bullshitting anyway about her husband trying to find you guys. She shouldn't have written to your husband in the first place. Her consequences for her actions are NOT your problem.. It sounds like you have enough for harassment, and at this point I would take it there since she is refusing to leave you guys alone and keeps trying to come up with reasons to involve herself in your lives and bother you guys.. She's not taking the hint to leave you guys alone, so perhaps a judge can get through to her..

Ashland13 posted 6/22/2013 13:43 PM

Sorry you have to go through this, Peach.

The police where I live were very helpful when I called them in the winter to ask about this kind of thing. I was getting called and hung up on in the middle of the night soon after dday and Perv abandoned us again.

FWIW, they told me they would need "a minimum of three types of correspondence to do anything." And it could be any kind of correspondence, not all one thing. After I could collect and submit that, they would have begun by sending a certified letter on their letter head, especially OW being OOS (Out Of State).

What was interesting for me is that I mentioned this to Perv casually and the calls stopped very, very soon after.

I'm unclear why OW is contacting your WS in the first place and remember how difficult it was for me to gather enough strength not to reply to Perv's OW. It was awful but I did it.

I may be overly cautious, but there may be only so much Ow's H can do anyway. I remember when this sh started, there was absolutely nothing anyone on earth could do or say to Perv about what he was doing.

There is a lot about what they are saying that doesn't make sense. I hope she and it will go away!

SisterMilkshake posted 6/22/2013 14:06 PM

My son had a plan where he unlimited text, but very limited minutes. He usually ran out at the very start of his new cycle each month, and then could only text, so that is possible.

However, I don't believe that it is the BH texting. I believe it is the OW.

PrincessPeach06 posted 6/22/2013 15:04 PM

She sent me this:

K-, C-aside I want to say I'm sorry to you and your kids. I know you don't want to hear what I have to say. I'm sorry for the hurt I caused you, but I'm hurting too. I fell in love with him. I wasn't looking for that, it just happened. It was wrong what I did and I have no excuse for it.

I said:

Well if that's really true then you will leave us alone and let us get on with our lives. No phone calls, messages, etc. That is all we are asking.

She said:

I will respect that.

That is exactly what she said a month ago :/

I know the hospital where her H works and am gonna try to reach him. Unfortunately I got rid of all her messages except this :(

Mousse242 posted 6/22/2013 15:14 PM

You sent her no contact letters, she has continued. Look a restraining order or getting her charged with harassment.

Kajem posted 6/22/2013 16:18 PM

You are 5 hours away and worried about her BH finding your WH and hurting him or your kids?

She sent a letter to her work address and her BH found it and now he knows about his wife and your WH.

Sounds like it's her problem to deal with.

NC = no new hurts. Don't let her in so she can hurt you again. Call the police, find out what needs to happen in order to file harassment charges.

The only contact you need to deal with is the one where her BH shows up on your doorstep. Till then it is her problem.

homewrecked2011 posted 6/22/2013 16:52 PM

Save that text!

Also, you can get a PI to find out where the H works and even the PI will deliver a letter to him from you. PI's are short on cash right now, so this would be an easy job for them, and they probably won't charge too much --- prob $500.00 at the VERY most.

BeautifulEmpty posted 6/22/2013 17:48 PM

Probably not terribly helpful but I can give one good reason for texting but no calling.
My H has an old iPhone. He was busy spraying me with water one day every time I'd set foot outside so I hide just inside with a huge bucket of water and waited for him.
When he came near, I doused him...and his phone in his shirt pocket. >.<
Now it only texts but he can't talk on it. It rings but no sound. Heh
Basically a glorified iPod touch.
Just a thought from the great phone ruiner.

homewrecked2011 posted 6/22/2013 23:07 PM

Beautiful that was freakin hilarious!!!!

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