Multiple DD were 6 weeks, 5 weeks, and 4 weeks ago. Because of all the TT and affairs, I initially thought there was no other option but divorce. WH said 3 weeks ago he wanted R, and I agreed to wait for a diagnosis (SA, personality disorder...) before deciding whether or not I would be open to R. We are separated, and although I see WH every day as he is visiting the children, he has not spoken to me about anything "real" in 2 weeks. During every visit to see the kids, he always seems so happy and carefree (unusual for him as he is generally unemotional) and even told me 3 weeks ago that this is the best relationship he's ever had with the kids. I don't get it? Is he doing the 180 and, if not, maybe he's just decided to move on. Since I've been trying to do the 180, I haven't brought up any A issues with him, but now I'm finding that the more he backs off the more I want contact.
I looked at his phone messages last week and saw he's been to an SAA meeting and has booked his summer vacation, neither of which he has mentioned to me. Also texts saying that his IC "stings", he's ready to go out for a beer and "make a toast to the future", and two texts to his mom asking her not to call or text me until he's had a chance to talk with me first. WTH does that mean??
After DD #3 I told him I need to see him fight for our M and we need to begin talking openly and honestly if he wants me to consider MC. Since then, he hasn't showed any fight (he's normally passive aggressive with me) and hasn't spoken at all about the As, his IC sessions, or anything else related.
I am taking the children for 2 months to visit my family (we live overseas), and WH won't see us at all during that time. I really want to know what's going on so I don't get blindsided by something, but my gut tells me I shouldn't initiate the discussion with him. Or, given his actions, maybe it's safe to assume that he's already made the decision to move on. So should I talk to him or not? I know it's not the 180 thing to do, but it's driving me crazy not knowing what's up!
[This message edited by confused71 at 3:09 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)]