I used to wait for him to call, while I slept on his side of the bed...after I set house alarm.
One night house alarm goes off at like 3am. It's me and kids, SHIT! I grab XH's bat from under his side of bed and venture out of the bedroom. If I didn't have kids - I would've laid there crying/whizzing self...but I had kids.
Alarm people call - WBN, is everything ok? I say, I don't know, I have a wood bat and am walking downstairs.
Alarm people - ok, well we can't really stay on the phone.
WBN - you g.d. better!!! I have 2 babies, you are NOT letting me go!
Dude stays on.
Come to find my silly ass cat clawed open a door that triggered the alarm! Oops! TTYL, alarm peeps! I'm out.