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Newest Member: Tigress5455 (45753)

User Topic: Do you get in middle of prob with your children and xwh
homewrecked2011
♀ 34678
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My son asked his dad to take him to trumpet lessons next week, but XWH told him he couldn't because he didn't have any gas money. LIAR! My son knows his Dad just drove OW children 3 states away to drop them off with their Dad.

I am so used to being the one in charge, doing what XWH would not do. So, do I tell my son,np, I'll take you, or do I let him miss 2 weeks bc his father is an ass.


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2327 | Registered: Jan 2012
soveryweary
♀ 32265
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Homewrecked, I would take my son if I was in that situation.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 628 | Registered: May 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would take him, but I would also not hide the fact that Daddy made a poor choice. I don't cover for STBX's bad choices any longer. I don't explain them away or try to make them seem better than they are.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10032 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
kernel
♀ 27035
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with Nature Girl. Don't make your son suffer, but be honest about why you're doing the driving. Calm, honest, no name calling but truthful.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5336 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Kajem
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have done this on many occasions. I make my decisions on some of the following questions:

#1 is this for a grade? Or will it cost ME money if he misses the lesson?

^ Those are YES.

#2 are you able to do it without switching your schedule around too much?

^ this is a maybe.. depends on my schedule and if I can do it without to much stress.

#3 Is there a way my kid could do this on their own? Walk, bike, go early with a friend?

^I like my kids to think of other alternatives to me and dad.. and sometimes it does work out that they can go with a friend.

Generally, I will not volunteer, I let them try to work it out and wait to be asked. If I keep jumping in to help, they will keep relying on me to pick up his pieces when he drops the ball. And my X was constantly dropping the ball.

Good luck,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5550 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
homewrecked2011
♀ 34678
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you everyone. I always tried to make everything "perfect" which hid the real Dad from my children.

I will take son, I want him to know I am responsible and he can count on me.

I called XWH about this issue and before the call was over he had taken the conversation all the way to him not signing over the house to me, reading me excerpts of the divorce papers, and that he is also not taking our children to texas to see his family over the children's summer visitation. I WILL NEVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN. Lesson finally learned. He is a very sick person, but I am sick also if I want to have a conversation with a nut. LOL


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2327 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 6

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