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There's no room for him

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suckstobeme posted 6/22/2013 20:31 PM

Exwh I mean.

I was driving in my car today and that song from the Disney Tarzan movie came on - "you'll be in my heart.". The whole thing is about how there will always be a connection even without physically being in each other's lives.

It made me think. I have lots of people in my life who I don't see often, but they will always hold a special place in my heart for one reason or another. Many of these people came running when the world exploded. They talked to me, checked on me and made me laugh. They are not with me in my every day life but I know they are there if I need them and vice versa.

The strangest thing is that my ex husband is not on that list. He holds no place in my heart anymore. I was married to him for fifteen years and we share children, but my heart is totally closed to him. I find that so strange. It won't change though. Nothing will ever change the things he did and said to be sure that I never wanted him as part of my life or heart again.

Strangely, it doesn't make me sad today. It just makes me shake my head.

MyReturn2Me posted 6/22/2013 21:04 PM

I hear you and I am right there with you, even on the strange feeling. Not an empty feeling, just a strange one......

You're healing and growing.

tryingagain74 posted 6/22/2013 21:15 PM

I know-- it's almost surreal. I feel like the life I had with XWH belonged to someone else. If we didn't have children together, I wouldn't know what he was doing, nor would I care. It's totally bizarre.

SBB posted 6/23/2013 05:01 AM

We have a dinner table with 4 seats. During dinners the girls play a game called "Whose Seat is That?" and they go through the list of all of my family and friends.

It makes me smile all over. Pre-DD I doubt they knew a single one of my friends. I was so shut down I shut everybody out lest they saw my misery and shame.

Absolutely zero room for him. He has not been mentioned once as a potential owner of that seat.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 6:57 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)]

Williesmom posted 6/23/2013 05:47 AM

Yeah. My wxh is just someone that I used to know.

sheila0304 posted 6/23/2013 07:30 AM

I'm there too. And it's a wonderful place to be. The heartache is gone. Yay!!!

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