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TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/22/2013 21:56 PM

Yeah...that's me...shutting the door...going to the gym...because I'M NOT GETTING INTO IT WITH YOU NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU INSULT ME OR TRY TO PISS ME OFF. And watch what I do after the gym. When I go to the computer so I can finish an online application. So I can get away from your NPD, emotionally abusive, PA, devoid of empathy and remorse toxic presence.

Nature_Girl posted 6/22/2013 22:28 PM

<standing ovation!>

TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/22/2013 22:47 PM

And sorry dude. Thanks to you actually, I'm stronger. I'm not going to be sucked into how we used to interact. Get that? Used to. I want better. You will never be better.

gma56 posted 6/22/2013 23:53 PM

There comes a time when you KNOW snd finally BELIEVE there is no going back. Make your anger work for you right now, so much to get done.

TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/23/2013 00:10 AM

This might be anger and time of the month!

It's crazy to see the dysfunction so clearly when you have realized the truth. It's almost like I could see it dripping from his words. I do, however, need to do a better job of controlling my responses from the beginning instead of slamming on the breaks when I realize what I'm saying is just old, unhealthy things.

SBB posted 6/23/2013 04:58 AM

Your silence is your greatest weapon and defence all at the same time.

I had to see him for a conciliation session the other day and I swear all I saw/heard was a lower muppet head on a stick going "blah, blah - blah blah blah".

An ugly, haggard old stick with a worn out lower muppet head at that.

macakipa posted 6/23/2013 08:25 AM

<second standing ovation!>

ButterflyGirl posted 6/23/2013 08:38 AM

And another standing ovation!

Good luck on your application!!

ButterflyGirl posted 6/23/2013 08:38 AM

double post, so I'll give you another standing ovation while I'm here

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 8:39 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)]

TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/23/2013 08:49 AM

Luckily it seems that most schools use the same online application site. That means I can import information from an old application to the a new one. There is a section where they ask what makes an effective teacher...blah blah blah. I just saved my responses on a word document and copy and paste which ever one seems the most appropriate. Upload resume, teaching certificate, and tweak cover letter. It takes maybe 10 minutes at the most.

But every time I got submit I get sad. There goes the life that I thought I had. Being a SAHM with a husband who I thought loved me. I just have to remind myself that this is a man who thinks that feeling abused is an opinion and since it's my opinion and not his, then it can't be true.

ButterflyGirl posted 6/23/2013 09:27 AM

You deserve so much better. It's hell detaching from an abusive person. My guess is that he will start amping up his attempts to manipulate you and bring you down. Just keep walking forward and trust yourself that you know the truth and are doing the right thing. When he continues to disrespect you and gas light you and blame shift things onto you, keep slamming that door in his face. You do NOT have to listen to him.

Hugs.. I hope your search goes well. I would attempt to give you some job search/interview/cover letter/thank you letter advice, but sounds like you've got all of that covered

Just think of how great you will feel when you are able to take care of yourself financially and not rely on that POS anymore.. And you may even make some new friends! It's a whole new beginning for you

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 9:30 AM, June 23rd (Sunday)]

jjct posted 6/23/2013 09:44 AM

this is a man who thinks that feeling abused is an opinion and since it's my opinion and not his, then it can't be true.

Mind- boggling, isn't it?
I can't recall seeing a better description - in one sentence! - of the toxic mind.

Do. Not. Be. Sad.
- to see such psycho assclowns grow smaller and smaller in your rearview mirror...that's a good thing!

tesla posted 6/23/2013 09:50 AM

There goes the life that I thought I had. Being a SAHM with a husband who I thought loved me.

BTDT. Trust me, it's so much better on the other side. Keep hitting the submit what you gotta do. Someday I promise you, you will look back at your time with him and wonder what the fuck possessed you to put up with all the shit.

thebighurt posted 6/23/2013 10:21 AM

Good for you TCD!

I'm impressed...... and a bit jealous. This sounds so much like MY life and yet I lived it so many more years, decades, even, except that I was working.

It's hell detaching from an abusive person.

This was it for me, except that I didn't see it for what it was. Now I hope IC can help me get past it in fewer decades than it took to get here! You are so much wiser than I.

When I see another of these stories/situations, I can't help but wonder if they haven't been doing human cloning for a long time now. It seems like so many of us M the same abnormal, dysfunctional person. It's disturbing to think there could be so much of this naturally occurring.

Housefulloflove posted 6/23/2013 11:35 AM

Keep doing you! He sees you moving on and living life and that pisses him off so he has to try to bring you down to the pit where he permanently resides.

I'm right there with you filling out online applications and adjusting to the idea of no longer being a SAHM. :(

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