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How do u get over the lies?

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Exrev posted 6/22/2013 23:46 PM

I'm 3 yrs now post dday, and j just want to say to everyone how sorry I am that you're even here but j have to say since I've been on SI it's been nice to know I'm not alone. This is my first time post anything. My wife (we're still together) had been lying our whole marriage about various things and couldn't come clean after the affair details. The truth didn't trickle out I had to keep pushing and pushing (which did more damage than the affair j believe). I'm not sure I ever got the truth. I still struggle with never knowing what's real and what's not. There were no red flags I ignored nor was our marriage bad. She says she was just (screwed up). During the A I asked several times what was wrong and why she was so distant and if there was anything I was doing wrong as a husband that shed like me to change, and each time shed say 'no' that I was the best and she was lucky to have me. So I wonder, do u ever come to the place where u believe the affections not an act? Maybe someone further along this road can help? Thanks in advance

Hearthache again posted 6/23/2013 01:29 AM

Welcome to SI. The best place to be during the worst struggle of your life.

Your wife says she was screwed up, what has she done to correct her being screwed up?

I also had the horrible time of pushing to get answers. I did not fully get answers until my H went to IC. I have been able to get pass the lies by seeing my H change for the better. He is a completely different person now. It also helped that he started to be completely honest with me no matter what. Prior to IC he would tell lies to avoid any conflict.

jo2love posted 6/23/2013 03:34 AM

Duplicate post. Please use the link below.

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