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Newest Member: Else (61873)

User Topic: The OW doesn`t know
♀ 39581
Member # 39581
Default  Posted: 11:59 PM, June 22nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My serial cheater`s new flame has no clue who she`s met. She thinks she`s falling in love with an amazing guy. I want to warn her. I feel terrible knowing that she`s going to get the rugged pulled out from under her.

what do I say... what if she doesn`t believe me.

Me BS 35
WH 37
OW 30s, single moms, have no clue
Together 3 yrs, he has 2 young boys (4 & 6) who live with us part time
Latest DDay June 14/2013 (not the first)

Posts: 7 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
♀ 32785
Member # 32785
Default  Posted: 12:47 AM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi mangomoon does she not know he's married?

We make our own fortunes and call them fate, and what better excuse to choose a path then to insist it's our destiny.

Posts: 610 | Registered: Jul 2011
♀ 38975
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tell her. She can choose to believe you or not. Are you married to this guy?

If so, what are you doing about the situation you are in?

So sorry you are here.

Good luck

Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for

Posts: 3411 | Registered: Apr 2013
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW is an adult in her 30s. She is old enough and experienced enough to evaluate potential partners for suitability.

If she does not know your WH is married---because he's willfully lied--that's something I would let her know.

But I would not devote even a moment of concern to what she might or might not know about his character; it's HER responsibility to assess that.

Often, women who have affairs with married men don't want to know the truth. The "couple" constructs a fiction that fuels their infidelity.

Anything you tell her is apt to be used as "evidence" to support their self-deluding stance, further fueling the affair.

Beyond, "He's married" (if she does not know), don't waste your breath.

She's not your responsibility.

OTOH, if she's married or in a relationship, I'd let her BS know. He deserves the opportunity to make informed decisions about his life, including the decision to be tested for STDs. And having another set of eyes can be useful.

Millions of hugs to you.

BS-me, 55; WX-irrelevant
Divorced after an eternity
"So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tenn

Posts: 15349 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If she doesn't know that he's married, tell her. In the past, I have been in the situation of dating a man who professed himself single only to find out that he had lied to me. I was horrified, disgusted, and kicked him to the curb immediately. The OW that my FWH screwed didn't know that he was married. When our NC letter was sent informing her of that fact, she never contacted him again.

Now, on to the more serious issue.

My serial cheater`s new flame

THIS is the real issue. You are in an open relationship with your WH and a revolving cast of characters, each of which is yet another opportunity for you to get an STD, be presented with an OC (other child) from someone he gets pregnant, and who is presumably tearing your heart to shreds. Why?

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10206 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 5

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