They say that a lot, and they have convinced themselves that it's true.
The reality is that THEY don't want to see/feel the ramifications of their actions.
The sooner he can acknowledge that the truth is the key to healing, the sooner you both will feel real relief.
"How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair" by Linda MacDonald has been a HUGE eye opener for many WS's that stood a chance of owning what they've done and making things right. Maybe he would be open to reading it?