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This just in from my wh ---
The reason he has not been honest?

He didn't want to make me sad.

Seriously? That's the best he can come up with?

If that's the case why did he carry on with chickie in the first place? Did he think THAT wouldn't make me sad?

Somedays.....

It's called trickle truth. They want to cover their asses as much as possible.

Sure, they'll say so they don't want to inflict any additional pain but it really is to minimize their horrid choices and hopefully preventing themselves from looking like even more of a jerk.

It's more about not getting into more trouble then they are already in.

It's also about keeping their secrets and their unicorn la la land BS free and protecting their AP.

They say that a lot, and they have convinced themselves that it's true.

The reality is that THEY don't want to see/feel the ramifications of their actions.

The sooner he can acknowledge that the truth is the key to healing, the sooner you both will feel real relief.

"How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair" by Linda MacDonald has been a HUGE eye opener for many WS's that stood a chance of owning what they've done and making things right. Maybe he would be open to reading it?