My H's guilt seems to be reaching an all-time high. It's like the cobwebs clear every month and this one - month 6 - is no exception.
To top it off. He saw the affair person the other day at a colleagues funeral. She and another person were there to rep head office. They had to fly in to attend this. He was not expecting to see her. The usher led him to the first row for colleagues and lo and behold, there she was with the colleague. The other colleague separated them. There were no hellos exchanged or nods. He said there was no eye contact whatsoever. As soon as the funeral ended, he left.
What I have noticed tho is that he seems more tormented with guilt now. I guess bc she does not live around us, he has not had to run into her. The guilt he feels is what he did to me. He said he has these images that make him sick/feels so guilty. He also says that he does not even want to tell me that bc he does not want to make this about him. That my pain is nothing compared to his guilt. Okay. But. I do want him to open up about his feelings.
I guess this is a good sign. But I don't want him to SIT in guilt. That could lead to shame and shame is not productive.
Did anyone notice this as the months went on? Waywards, did you feel more and more guilt as time went on? How did you cope? How did you handle it as the BS?
He is hesitant for us to go on a wonderful company conference in the fall. Anxiety over, "what if you get more hurt?" "what if we get seated with her?" "what if she gets pulled into a convo. with us?" I believe I am going to be okay.
I just don't want him/us avoiding these fun situations and yet if we do go, it could result in more guilt.
Guess he needs to talk about this in IC.