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Divorce/Separation :
Just got the douche chills

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 TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 4:32 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Not what you think!! I don't know if this was coined by Opie and Anthony (radio show), but the douche chills describe that icky feeling you get when someone is being a d-bag, about to do something d-bag like, or you see someone and automatically know they are a d-bag. So STBX (first time I've used that but let's just call it how it is) comes downstairs. I don't really look at him in the first place and today is no exception. Then he says, "I messed up my mustache." I look and he has shaved his mustache and goatee off. He has had it forever and I prefer it. It gives him a stronger jaw line, without it he looks twelve, and I just always thought he looked better with facial hair. I had to walk away to control my smiling and so I didn't burst out laughing. I don't know if he did it to "piss me off" or show me has moved on...or something like that. Or if he really did just mess up. Either way, he looks stupid. Then I remembered who likes him without facial hair...his grandmother. At least grandma will fawn all over him. Ha!

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6384416
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damncutekitty ( member #5929) posted at 4:37 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

My XH shaved off his facial hair not long after we split up. He looks like a fat girl without his beard, so I could not stop laughing at him.

12/18/15 found out my now EX boyfriend was trolling CL for underage girls. From the cops. The fun never stops.

posts: 49560   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2004   ·   location: Minneapolis
id 6384420
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 TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 4:40 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

I just choked on my coffee. A fat girl!!!!!!

It is a nice feeling to not care in the least bit. Before I'd be upset because I always preferred the facial hair. It feels good to laugh.

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6384423
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ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 4:53 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

It gives him a stronger jaw line, without it he looks twelve, and I just always thought he looked better with facial hair.

Same here. STBX has absolutely no chin and looks terrible without facial hair. Add that to the list of things that are not my problem anymore

xBW~ 40
Two DS~ 15 and 11

posts: 3123   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Flat Earth
id 6384435
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roughroadahead ( member #36060) posted at 5:01 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Waffle actually grew a goatee fairly recently. I found it difficult to contain the laughter (it doesn't suit him). He shaved.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

posts: 751   ·   registered: Jul. 9th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6384443
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welcome14 ( member #26741) posted at 5:17 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Yeah, xwf grew a full beard. He looked like a redneck.. my guess is he tried to change his outside to hide the hideous changes on his inside. I think this is fairly common. when I divorced exh he had always told me to never get a tattoo or cut my hair. First thing I did was cut my hair, second thing was I got a small rose tattoo on my left hip. Unfortunately, it backfired as he liked both.

Bs- me
Someone I used to know- Him
Nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home- nikki sixx

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.

posts: 1566   ·   registered: Dec. 16th, 2009   ·   location: clarksville, tn/ Ft Campbell
id 6384456
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MyReturn2Me ( member #34352) posted at 5:28 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Yep. Mine shaved off his 'stache after our breakup too. I didn't notice for almost a year, as I don't look at him anymore. When I do, now I can just see more of his ass.

Me: BS 51 and Freaking AWESOME!
Him: Who the fuck cares........

posts: 259   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2011   ·   location: Puget Sound
id 6384468
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 TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 7:48 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Right now I'm at my students' recital (bad teacher on her phone...but my students have already performed). But when he got home from bringing DD4 to her hockey practice, I was waiting with the door open. I was watching him put stuff back into my truck and doing a little song and dance, "you look like a douche...you look like a douche...what a douche." Heh...douche.

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6384561
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Snapdragon ( member #4286) posted at 8:22 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

My ex grew a goatee. He knew I hated it as it makes him look like pube-face. It makes his face look fatter. The grey in it makes him look even older.

Not my problem.

Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink

posts: 4089   ·   registered: May. 4th, 2004   ·   location: Midwest
id 6384589
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 TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 8:27 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

I'm just picturing his grandmother telling him how handsome he looks. That makes me laugh more. Now I've been singing, "he's a douche, he's a douche," to the Map Song from Dora the Explorer.

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6384592
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ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 8:48 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

I've been singing, "he's a douche, he's a douche," to the Map Song from Dora the Explorer.

xBW~ 40
Two DS~ 15 and 11

posts: 3123   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Flat Earth
id 6384614
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scotslass ( member #39204) posted at 8:54 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

I have a good one for you guys.

Just after my ex moved out he turned up at our sons basketball game with the most god awfull jet black, horrendous eyebrows!!!! Turns out he had dyed them with Just for Men hair dye.

Looked bloody awfull! He has solid grey hair, grey eyebrows and red boozy skin. He looked like a demented geriatric Groucho Marx!! I couldn't keep the shocked look off my face.

It's pathetic the lengths they will go to try and look younger

Me. - moving on and upward !!!

posts: 102   ·   registered: May. 8th, 2013   ·   location: Great Britain
id 6384624
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 TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 9:15 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Bahahaha! Sometimes I need to say what is on my mind and I think if I saw that I'd HAVE to say something...and it wouldn't be good and I'd laugh my ass off. I'm not sure if I necessarily believe that he "messed up his mustache" because seriously...he has done it maybe 3 times...if that....in 15 years. I think he is just trying to prove something. Or try to get some kind of reaction, good or bad, out of me. Sorry dude...I really don't care.

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6384638
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Vulcanized ( member #33523) posted at 9:17 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

my guess is he tried to change his outside to hide the hideous changes on his inside. I think this is fairly common.

Yes! Absolutely.

My XH used to be clean-shaven, which I loved. He's since grown this disgusting ZZ Top-esque beard.

He now looks like a middle-aged wanna be hipster derelict hobo. It's really pathetic. OW is a wanna be hipster, it's just that ... she's just not cool. They look perfect together!

Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long

Now:-----> Everything is as it should be

posts: 940   ·   registered: Oct. 4th, 2011   ·   location: The Hostile City
id 6384640
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 TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 9:23 PM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

I love everyone's descriptions of their exes! What is more entertaining is that in three months I have lost 33 pounds and I am still going. Not the infidelity diet... just hard work at the gym and eating right. And I'm looking better and better.

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

posts: 1841   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2012   ·   location: New Jersey
id 6384644
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anewday78 ( member #39357) posted at 2:14 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

Holy crap! 33 pounds in 3 months is a DRAMATIC change - and it looks especially well when it happens through hard work and not because of emotional devastation. You're stbxh no doubt sees the positive changes you're making and I'm sure he's both envious as well as regretful. I'm sure he's secretly attracted to the new you and feels like he had to compete - hence the pathetic attempt to alter his image. Keep up the good work!

posts: 350   ·   registered: May. 26th, 2013
id 6384855
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numbandnauseous ( member #34525) posted at 6:29 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

Congrats on the 33 pounds of weight loss due to hard work - I bet you look FABULOUS!!!!

middle-aged wanna be hipster derelict hobo

BS (me) - 50
WH - 58, EA with HS GF x 2, now deceased
M: 15 years, T: 20, divorced
2 teenage children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)

posts: 828   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2012   ·   location: the other side
id 6385049
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debbysbaby ( member #32962) posted at 7:12 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

I am enjoying so much these hilarious descriptions of all your exes. Now I must add mine!

When my left eight years ago it was for his 20-year-old howorker whom he married. She was half his age.

I guess in his attempt to look younger he's done all kinds of things. He dresses himself in Hollister And other young people clothing. He also grew himself a goatee. I hate facial hair on poopsmear. He has a very round face and it looks awful on him! Add to that that he is shooting up HGH and he is bloated all over. He's pumping up at the gym and over doing that b/c he has short man syndrome since he is only 5'7" So he just looks like a sawed-off, pumped-up, bloated middle-aged teenager-wanna-be. He walks around with his chest puffed out and arms bowed like a proud rooster. I want to roll my eyes every time I see him. He makes me want to

-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

posts: 1025   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2011
id 6385065
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