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Newest Member: Questiounanswere (45696)

User Topic: 2 years on and am finally ready to date
Crash!
♀ 32662
Member # 32662
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, June 23rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Only, I think I might be rubbish at it! A few weeks ago it was like a switch went on, and suddenly I decided I was into the idea of dating. You know, liking a guy and having him like me back. Since then I've managed to get into a silly situation with a guy-friend of mine who's told me that he likes me but is still having trouble getting over an ex. I didn't ask him his feelings towards me, he just told me. And then he said that he's probably bad news at the moment. Fine, but I still like him, which is annoying. I told him we can be friends until he figures it out.

I just worry that overall, I'll get hurt somehow. I'll be closed off (which I'm good at anyway) or I'll be all weird because of how my ex treated me or.. I don't know. It's just messy and scary and I thought I liked the idea but now it's just distracting me.


I got out. I think I saved myself.

Posts: 65 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: UK
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like he needs to heal and work on himself. Being there for him as a friend is probably best for now. I try to look at as if it's meant to be then one day it will happen. If not, then someone else who is wonderful will come your way.

Posts: 36403 | Registered: Mar 2011
Sue1964
♀ 37057
Member # 37057
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Took me 2 years never thought I would again.but it's the best thing I ever did.

Posts: 287 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Uk
Maxiom
♂ 26001
Member # 26001
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And then he said that he's probably bad news at the moment.

When someone tells you something unflattering about themself.. believe them. Really

Fine, but I still like him, which is annoying. I told him we can be friends until he figures it out.

Which is exactly what he wants. He's got you on the hook. A back up plan.

I know I don't see the whole picture here.. but this screams of emotionally unavaiable. Usually not something that gets better.


Me: FBS/WS 41
Her FWS/BS 41
My DDay - March 10, 2007 Whole Truth - May 2007
Her DDay - March 2, 2011
True NC March 3, 2011

Posts: 462 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Canada
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maxiom's comments are *spot on* about this guy. Beware.

But it's funny/ironic that you posted this today b/c I've been mulling over in my mind this NB thing of being open and ready to allow people in backed up by strong boundaries that recognizes when people just aren't on the up & up. I think that that is one aspect of NB for all of us (whether we're actively wanting another relationship or not). We're all here b/c we were had. And nothing creates self-doubt than realizing that someone made of fool of you when all you were doing was loving them.

I think it's good you're seeing you're ready to be open to new people in your life. It's just important to back that up with being smart about it. This guy needs to be "next-ed". And that's part of what being open to new people is all about. Separating the wheat from the chaff and trusting your own judgement. Imho you know this guy's no good, that's why you find yourself posting about it. So next him, and look around. There are definitely some awesome people in this world.

(((crash!)))


"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3143 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Topic Posts: 5

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