So Friday night I went to see BH so he could confront me with all his feelings towards me and my A. He has been trying to put it all in a letter but every time he has started the letter he has ripped it up. He decided to just go for it and tell me without writing it down first.
It was long and painful....some of the highlights were he told me I was dead to him, a horrible mother, and called me a c#+t whore. He also told me that I was nothing more to AP than a dirty whore. This is coming from a man who before this very rarely even yelled at me, let alone called me such names.
It was hard to sit there and listen to him say these things but I would like to think that by him doing it he will be able to eventually forgive me, and hopefully we can move on. I feel like I owed it to him to let him do it so he could get everything out.
He did say that he is going to let me move back in "sooner rather than later" but hasn't actually said when. One thing that did concern me is he seems to be placing his decision solely on what I have been doing....like, if I call him, text him, or ask him to spend time with me than he feels like he wants to make it work. But if I don't do these things than he doesn't want to try. I feel like he should know what he wants to do no matter what I am doing....he should either want to R or not want to....and he should feel it....Really feel it rather than base it on me.