It was long and painful....some of the highlights were he told me I was dead to him, a horrible mother, and called me a c#+t whore. He also told me that I was nothing more to AP than a dirty whore. This is coming from a man who before this very rarely even yelled at me, let alone called me such names.
It was hard to sit there and listen to him say these things but I would like to think that by him doing it he will be able to eventually forgive me, and hopefully we can move on. I feel like I owed it to him to let him do it so he could get everything out.
He did say that he is going to let me move back in "sooner rather than later" but hasn't actually said when. One thing that did concern me is he seems to be placing his decision solely on what I have been doing....like, if I call him, text him, or ask him to spend time with me than he feels like he wants to make it work. But if I don't do these things than he doesn't want to try. I feel like he should know what he wants to do no matter what I am doing....he should either want to R or not want to....and he should feel it....Really feel it rather than base it on me.
My concern is that he's lost respect for you (hence the name-calling) and that you may be abused if you move back "sooner, rather than later".
Anyway, that's my take on it. Hope that helped a little.
"Long is the way And hard, that out of Hell leads up to Light" -John Milton, Paradise Lost
You guys are still new to this, be warned there maybe more (or many more) days like Friday. I love my WH but some of the things I said to him - yeah, not cool. It must be hard for WS's to understand the feelings behind those words. He doesn't hate you, hate is indifference. He is hurt. These are, more than likely, bigger wounds than he has ever experienced. Learning how to handle them is a process. Your patience, understanding, support and love are being watched.
Gently - you have devastated his world and all he knew. He will be angry, hurt, confused along with a million other feelings - for YEARS. I hear it's worth it. Sticking it out and doing the work together.
Would you have sat through his anger if you thought that he wouldn't eventually forgive you?
There's going to be a lot of pressure on you to do things which your BH will hopefully see as you wanting the M. What you need to think about is whether you are doing this for him or for you. Are you doing it for a pay-off? or out of obligation? or because you are trying to find a way to be a healthier human being?