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Divorce/Separation :
And my long week begins

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 IrishLass518 (original poster member #34373) posted at 2:53 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

....with drama

This is IrishLad's week with xWH and OWifetress. Every other week I drive 50 miles to my oldest IrishLad's home, oldest drives youngest to xWH's house (10 min) and then I drive home again. I do the driving for pick up too. (Trust me everyone, it is just easier this way) Today I arrive so IrishLad can go for his week visit. Oldest drives youngest over and while they are gone oldest IrishLass stops by with my grandbaby girl to visit. My boys come back, both of them, xWH and OWifetress FORGOT that it was the beginning of the week long visit. They say they will either pick up my boy or oldest can bring him back when they get back. None of us know how long they will be so we are hanging out and visiting and playing with baby. Oldest son's phone rings, they want to know if I have left, he tells them no. They went off, they are pissed that I spend time with the kids. Oldest son took the boy over and then as he left the text messages began, to him. They don't want the kids hanging out with me, etc. My kids HURT because of this and that hurts me. My oldest 2 are nearly ready to cut HIM out of their lives. This bothers me, I can't tell you how much. They deserve the father he used to be, not the man he has become.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

posts: 1858   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: WA
id 6384905
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 3:14 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

I sincerely hope that your oldest son lets his sperm donor know, in no uncertain terms, that he can damned well invite anyone he wants to, to spend time at HIS house!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6384921
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 IrishLass518 (original poster member #34373) posted at 3:21 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

He did still that he even had to have that conversation with his father is uncalled for and outrageous. Also, they apparently have been asking my young boy who is visiting at my house and when Damn, I thought we were divorced, my bad.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

posts: 1858   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: WA
id 6384928
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LifeIsBroken ( member #27071) posted at 3:28 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

I would ask why your xh thinks it's wrong for the mother of her and his children to spend time with her children.... but, as we all know too well, his reasoning is likely as nonsensical and unrealistic as his excuses for cheating. Still, I'm curious as to why he thinks it's wrong for a mom to visit her children. Stupid people. Give him time; he'll end up with none of your children wanting anything to do with him. Cheaters often hang themselves like that. Sending hugs to you....

D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)

posts: 1242   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 6384938
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 3:52 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

What an idiot.

Hope you have lots of nice things planned for this week!

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6384956
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 IrishLass518 (original poster member #34373) posted at 4:08 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

Life, we had a yours/mine/ours mix. The story that he lays down now is that he had to marry me for a mother to his kids (which is dumb cause they had a mother - his 1st wife, their MOTHER)That I used him to get a father for my daughter (nope, was raising her fine on my own) and I pressured him to have our boy (yeah, 8 years together and he was there when I went off birth control with his blessing) So now, after we were together for 17 years and had custody and raised all of the kids together, he doesn't want HIS kids around me.

Tesla, I have some projects to do and a job interview tomorrow. Hoping to have good news for my IrishLad when he gets back

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

posts: 1858   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: WA
id 6384973
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peridot ( member #18334) posted at 5:46 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

He's a moron!

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6385031
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 6:01 AM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

Um, perhaps the pod person has forgotten that as adults "his" kids can have anyone they want in their homes or visiting otherwise and there is not a damn thing he can do about it...except make himself look like a complete shitbag by thinking he has any control over that. He will certainly lose any meaningful relationship he has with them if he doesn't back off, but that will be HIS problem.

Idiocy continues to reign supreme in douchebag land!

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 6385039
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 IrishLass518 (original poster member #34373) posted at 7:48 PM on Monday, June 24th, 2013

Phoenix, xWH is already losing these relationships with the older kids. Oldest daughter can't get to talk to HIM without going through OWifetress and that just pisses her off. Oldest son feels that OWifetress blocks any and all attempts to talk to his Dad so he doesn't try to hard anymore. They are both very upset that they both try to tell them who they can and can't talk too. Middle daughter, my own, has no relationship with him at all anymore and middle son, his, very rarely speaks to them. Littlest boy is the one with the most contact and they are asking him who is hanging out at my house and when.

I feel that there are a couple things at play here:

1. xWH is jealous that the kids get time with me and he doesn't (his choice, he had an A)

2. They are both afraid of what the kids and I might talk about (news flash, it isn't them until they start the drama)

3. xWH really thinks he can say who people do and don't spend time with (NPD much?)

I just hate that he keeps putting this choice to the kids. It isn't right.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

posts: 1858   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: WA
id 6385591
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