SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

I just want a relationship. How nice it would be to have a companion.

But there's that long, slow transition from dating someone to being in a relationship with that someone. You know, where you have to get to know each other, like each other, build respect and trust for each other, all that crap which I would rather assume is completely present after the first 5 minutes.

Transition times suck. Trouble is, the definition of transition is the time between transitions.

Maybe I'll get a dog instead. But I really don't like getting kissed by dogs.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 11:14 PM, June 23rd (Sunday)]

Is there an activity you enjoy doing? Maybe join a group (with lots of women) so that the transition time is filled with something fun.

That's about all I got. I feel the same as you and I think I've mentioned multiple times how I'm going to end up a crazy cat lady. Ok...maybe you shouldn't take my advice.

You guys know I'm being deliberately contrary, right?

Maybe it's the warm weather, I dunno, but dating is on my mind again. Problem is I get exhausted just thinking about it.

I'll think on the group activity thing...

Don't like cooking. Besides, I took a cooking class and I was 20 years older than everyone else.

Maybe some exercise class, but I doubt those end up being very social...

Maybe you need a meditation class because your post is making me antsy reading how antsy you are!

I think having a presence around people as a start would help.

Dog might actually be a good idea. Wild take some pressure off the dates.

Are there any hiking groups in your area? The meetup group I belonged to in Phoenix was at least social in that we'd go for lunch after the hike, and there were always rest stops where everyone talked and sometime swapped snacks.

Back to the coffee shop with you - OIAL!

I know exactly what you are saying though. I recognize that life as I'm living it doesn't not place me anywhere that I'm going to meet new people. Thankfully, I'm not feeling the desire to date - but it would still be nice to meet people and make some friends. The walls are pushing in.

I'm fairly easy going and can start up a conversation without a problem. But at work it is all married women and children. I've checked out Meetup - meh, nothing I'm keen on... only thing I can come up with is bowling. Maybe join a league in the Fall...

Now if there is a dog park near you - a dog might work. A good looking dog is a ice breaker. People tend to coo over dogs and conversations get started that way... You could call him Magnet! Then again traveling everywhere with a pooper scooper not so attractive...

[This message edited by Take2 at 6:55 AM, June 24th (Monday)]

I'm right there with you on the female side.

I have 4 dogs. They make me laugh, and they're great companions.

When I had a dog, I was walking her all the time. She was the reason I lost a bunch of weight, stayed in shape... and met every one of my neighbors. She was a friendly and beautiful golden retriever that I adopted from the pound.

After X left and I would get angry she was my walking buddy... I would walk for miles and she would keep up.. just walk beside me until the anger melted away... then she would want to come home.

I joined dog obedience classes, and the dog park... I met a lot of people thru her.

Maybe I need a dog?

Do you like trivia? There is a meetup around me that is a trivia night. I think that would be soooo fun. Good way to hang out and chat.

If you want to meet women and exercise at the same time, sign up for a yoga class. I've been practicing for 6 1/2 years and the ratio of women to men in about every class I've ever had is 20:1.
And even if you don't meet anyone to date you will be super-flexible and be all inner peaceful-like. Namaste

Volunteer. No telling who you will meet, and you'll feel good about yourself no matter what. There are a million ways to volunteer.

eta to correct bad grammar Yeah, a grammar dork.

[This message edited by kernel at 6:19 PM, June 24th (Monday)]

dating is on my mind again. Problem is I get exhausted just thinking about it

I understand.

If you want to meet women and exercise at the same time, sign up for a yoga class. I've been practicing for 6 1/2 years and the ratio of women to men in about every class I've ever had is 20:1.

Second this. Added bonus the one there is usually with a wife/gf so no competition, and the intermediate people love getting a chance to help beginners.

The exercise suggestion and volunteering suggestion are very good. As for which class to take you can pick any of them. No better conversation starter than being the new guy that keeps coming back for more. The exercise helps better your mood, overall health, and you get to meet people. If you are shy just keep going to the class eventually they will speak to you.

Volunteering works the same way. Find something you can actually get into and you are giving back to your community and meeting people at the same time.

All that process getting to know each other properly from just dating to a relationship is to me, scary and exciting! It's nerve-wracking because it might not lead to a relationship...or it just might.
I have to say it was emotionally tiring sometimes making that transition, but also fun to meet different people after being married for so long! I learnt a lot about myself while learning about another person, and am grateful that I had to go through all that again. See it for what it is, not what you don't have (yet) and learn from the journey. And take some joy from it!

[This message edited by Ms_Strong at 5:02 PM, June 25th (Tuesday)]