SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

I was just reading through some of the forum topics and feel genuinely down. I mean, this place is obviously one of comfort and support and is a community where I feel so overwhelmed with love and support, but....it just makes me sick to my stomach, knowing that there are so many good men and women out there whose spouses and significant others just decide to treat so horribly! What is wrong with the world? I mean, we all make mistakes, but maintaining an ongoing affair with someone and deliberately deceiving a partner you've sworn to be faithful to is a lot more than just a "mistake."

When I get out of this, I don't know if I want anything to do with love or relationships for a very long, long time-- if ever. And yet, I don't want to become this bitter person who has no faith left because she's seen so many people fail good, kind people who give so much of themselves, sacrifice, and love others so tenderly, only to have it taken for granted and dismissed so callously.

I looked at WH last night and I honestly wished he was dead. Like, if he were to be struck by lightning, I wouldn't blink an eye-- I'd just collect my pension, be rid of him and no one would ever know how humiliated I am right now. But that's not right and I feel horrible for thinking it, even though I think I might actually mean it. I am NOT a person who wants to hurt anyone. I'd rather take a hit myself than deliberately ruin someone else's life. That's why this hurts so much.

Going to stop now because I'm getting a bit weepy. Ugh. I think I'm hormonal right now.

(((((((((frankiebaby)))))))))

Me too.

I have the same thoughts as you.

You're right; this site can really be depressing. I can sometimes spiral down after reading the sad stories and feeling such pain.

For me, the knowledge that the marriage and I were both taken for granted and were disposable is knee-buckling. That's when I feel that I could walk away with no regret if things were to be horrible again. It's pathetic that I have to try to look at the positives to keep myself here; I never weighed pros and cons of the M prior to Dday. Hugs to you.

I felt the same way about my x when I discovered his cheating and when he threatened my life, I loved him but I hated him for all years of cheating on me and for refusing to do anything to save the marriage.

Now I just pray that he never marries again so no other woman has to deal with his crap and the pain of his cheating.

This site is depressing. I have to take breaks at times because it can be overwhelming. But I have learned so much and when (if) I ever find myself in this situation again, I know exactly what to do and how to handle it.

Infidelity is insane. How it can tear apart a family... Wow. I no longer feel sympathy for men (and women) who claim they were unhappy now that I have learned about marital rewrite. At the end of the day, if a person is unhappy, they should just leave. Especially if they don't want to stay and put work in to work out the problems.

I have learned that when someone cheats, it is because they are broken. Usually they are conflict avoidant people with boundary issues. Instead of putting in the work to making their relationship better, they rather find someone else get their ego stroked.
And then we have exit affair folks and those that are serial cheaters/problems with addictions, but that all boils down to people with poor coping skills, boundary issues and would rather live in a fantasy rather than solve the problems of reality. These people will always have this problem as it is within themselves. So before you, after you, during you, there will always be an issue.
I rather be with a healthy person who isn't afraid of putting in work.