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Making Friends and then They Move Away

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InnerLight posted 6/24/2013 10:10 AM

I live in the boonies so I am often alone. I made a good friend next door and it was nice for 3 years and then she moved away. I was friends with the local yoga teacher in my tiny town. After 5 years she moved away. I made good friends with another woman, we put on 3 retreats but now she is moving to Seattle.
Developing and keeping a good friend relationship is just as hard as dating in some ways. I have a cat, and its a good thing she is cute and furry because she is a huge pain in the ass and a bird murderer

I would like to have friends but it's hard to meet them in the country and then they seem so temporary.

better4me posted 6/24/2013 11:08 AM


TrustNoOne posted 6/24/2013 11:09 AM

My younger years, my father was an officer in the Army. We moved all over. It was hard to make friends, only to know they'd be leaving us or we'd be leaving them in a span of 1-3 years. But, we did. Even as youth we recognized the value of relationships.

Friendships don't have to end because geography and distance change; particulary in today's world where technology allows for immediate unfettered access to anyone, most anywhere, at any time.

Consider all these people who are your friends....out into the world they've gone...and while you are an anchor to a place they once were, perhaps they can be a destination for you - to visit, explore, enjoy.

I'm happy to say, even though my parents eventually retired and settled into rural America (town pop. 901)....I still stay in contact with the many people I met along the way. They represent seasons/phases in my life and each is special to me in some unique and wonderful way.

Crescita posted 6/24/2013 11:11 AM

The distance is unfortunate, but it sounds like you are doing a great job making friends. Keep in touch as much as you can from afar; I'm sure they still value your friendship.

Amazonia posted 6/24/2013 11:42 AM

Some of my closest friends live overseas. We do skype dates. We watch movies together over the internet , and can spend hours talking.

Sad in AZ posted 6/24/2013 11:59 AM

I am still in contact with my childhood friends; we can go years without seeing or talking to each other and pick up right where we left off. I consider them more family than friends. However, I've found it very difficult to make lasting 'adult' friends. Life usually gets in the way right from the beginning, and you don't develop a tight bond. I've had some good relationships where we've talked about anything and everything yet when we part, they're just, gone.

I think I have two post-childhood friends that I feel almost the same childhood-type of connection to--out of many, many acquaintance that I've met in my 58 years.

Ms_Strong posted 6/25/2013 09:21 AM

Hi Inner Light,
I know the feeling. I'm the one that always seems to move away and it's hard to feel like I have to start all over again to make new friends. Luckily, it's fun to meet new people, and thank goodness for the internet. I keep in touch with all my friends around the world. I hope to not move for a while this time...Don't get despondent, feeling lonely now and then is a hidden gift in the challenge...

fallingquickly posted 6/25/2013 10:34 AM

I've been the one to move away and also the one to have friends move. I feel that it is far more difficult too be the one left behind.

When I moved I was going someplace new, meeting new people, and starting a new life. When a friend of mine moved it left a hole where they used to be.

I understand how you feel. It does sound like you are good at making friends. Keep doing it. It's so much easier to keep up with others now than it was when I was moving around. I've lost touch with so many people over the years. I regret that.

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