Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Irishprincess (61813)

User Topic: Making Friends and then They Move Away
♀ 19946
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I live in the boonies so I am often alone. I made a good friend next door and it was nice for 3 years and then she moved away. I was friends with the local yoga teacher in my tiny town. After 5 years she moved away. I made good friends with another woman, we put on 3 retreats but now she is moving to Seattle.
Developing and keeping a good friend relationship is just as hard as dating in some ways. I have a cat, and its a good thing she is cute and furry because she is a huge pain in the ass and a bird murderer

I would like to have friends but it's hard to meet them in the country and then they seem so temporary.

BS, 56 years
D-day 6-2-08
D after 20 years
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

Posts: 6650 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:54

Posts: 4137 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
♀ 16591
Member # 16591
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My younger years, my father was an officer in the Army. We moved all over. It was hard to make friends, only to know they'd be leaving us or we'd be leaving them in a span of 1-3 years. But, we did. Even as youth we recognized the value of relationships.

Friendships don't have to end because geography and distance change; particulary in today's world where technology allows for immediate unfettered access to anyone, most anywhere, at any time.

Consider all these people who are your friends....out into the world they've gone...and while you are an anchor to a place they once were, perhaps they can be a destination for you - to visit, explore, enjoy.

I'm happy to say, even though my parents eventually retired and settled into rural America (town pop. 901)....I still stay in contact with the many people I met along the way. They represent seasons/phases in my life and each is special to me in some unique and wonderful way.

Posts: 1371 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: San Diego
♀ 32616
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The distance is unfortunate, but it sounds like you are doing a great job making friends. Keep in touch as much as you can from afar; I'm sure they still value your friendship.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Posts: 3640 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some of my closest friends live overseas. We do skype dates. We watch movies together over the internet , and can spend hours talking.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 14452 | Registered: Jul 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, June 24th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am still in contact with my childhood friends; we can go years without seeing or talking to each other and pick up right where we left off. I consider them more family than friends. However, I've found it very difficult to make lasting 'adult' friends. Life usually gets in the way right from the beginning, and you don't develop a tight bond. I've had some good relationships where we've talked about anything and everything yet when we part, they're just, gone.

I think I have two post-childhood friends that I feel almost the same childhood-type of connection to--out of many, many acquaintance that I've met in my 58 years.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25302 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
♀ 30883
Member # 30883
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Inner Light,
I know the feeling. I'm the one that always seems to move away and it's hard to feel like I have to start all over again to make new friends. Luckily, it's fun to meet new people, and thank goodness for the internet. I keep in touch with all my friends around the world. I hope to not move for a while this time...Don't get despondent, feeling lonely now and then is a hidden gift in the challenge...

Me: 40, happily divorced Dec11
D-Day #1 - 9th Jan 11, D-Day #2 - 13th Jan 11
Kids - 4, 8 yrs

Posts: 324 | Registered: Jan 2011
♀ 36599
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been the one to move away and also the one to have friends move. I feel that it is far more difficult too be the one left behind.

When I moved I was going someplace new, meeting new people, and starting a new life. When a friend of mine moved it left a hole where they used to be.

I understand how you feel. It does sound like you are good at making friends. Keep doing it. It's so much easier to keep up with others now than it was when I was moving around. I've lost touch with so many people over the years. I regret that.

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken

There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.

Posts: 468 | Registered: Aug 2012
Topic Posts: 8

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.