SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

Help Me Understand?

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

jrc1963 posted 6/24/2013 19:05 PM

How important is your personal nostalgia?

I don't really hold any affection for my High School or College Years... In fact, since I lived at home for almost all of college and was dating my future first husband, I don't think I even met anyone I remember.

I have connected with a few high school classmates on FB... but it's hit or miss and not a very big deal to me.

FWSO is the complete opposite... He graduated 50 years ago and he still remembers everything about HS... teachers, kids... and talks to these people.

I don't have any understanding of this... I don't think there's anything wrong with it... I just don't understand.

Do you? Can you explain it to me?

Sad in AZ posted 6/24/2013 19:45 PM

High school, as a school memory, was awful, but my friends made it more than bearable. I love them with all my heart and would not miss an opportunity to see them. Most of us are on FB, so we don't 'talk' all the time, but we keep abreast of each other's lives and see each other about once a year. Someone always has a party when I visit.

Except for school I had an idyllic childhood.

jrc1963 posted 6/24/2013 21:40 PM

I just don't get it... but then I hated high school...

FaithFool posted 6/24/2013 21:42 PM

I didn't stay in touch with everyone, but have maintained a close connection with one person in particular.

I visit her every couple of years and we talk on the phone once in awhile.

We are good friends.

fireproof posted 6/24/2013 23:37 PM

I think everyone has different stages of their lives they connect. It also depends on the type of people and proximity.

For example, I have close friends from middle school that are dear to me. They have children now and I know their wives. I can call them anytime and they call me especially when I was going through my divorce.

I also loved college and was in a sorority and talk to those friends who live in all different states a few times a week even though we graduated close to 20 years ago.

For me it is about knowing I have true friends that will be honest and knew me before all this mess happened. They have been around me so their intention and advice is there to help and I enjoy seeing them happy.

I also enjoy knowing that one of my best friends still laughs the same way. It is comforting

I think also there are people who for whatever reason didn't have those type of friendships cross their path yet but it may happen or if it doesn't and they are happy then the friendships are neither here or there just the icing on life. For example, I think of some on SI as people who I know I would have been friends with in college and I have become close to them.

Hope that helps!

thebighurt posted 6/25/2013 00:26 AM

Two of the people who have helped me the most in all if this, and anything else I may experience, are friends from fourth grade and live nearby. Another who joins us as a foursome was with us since seventh grade. She lives a couple of hours away. We just had an alumni g2g and had a great time. We were joined by several others from our class and many others. There was lots of, "remember when...." and "who was it that did...."

We have a closed FB group as well as being each others FB friends and two open FB pages about the school.

Xpos, on the other hand, has no use for, or good memories of our school. I'm glad for that, because that meant he would not be there to spoil it for me.

I am fortunate to have a number of good friends IRL that I can talk to about anything, that all support me in whatever I need, including 2x4s. Some are friends from 50+ years ago and one young friend DD's age that I have known for only about 10 or 12 years and many in between. I love them all and am very thankful for them.

I'm finding that, as we get older, more people join us at reunions and school alumni events. Maybe it is more of an age related thing for some?

Amazonia posted 6/25/2013 08:49 AM

Given his upbringing, he probably feels much the same way about these people that many feel about family.

tushnurse posted 6/25/2013 09:48 AM

I dont think I have much from high school, I did keep my AP bio book, was my first college credit, and the book was awesome. I used it as a reference in college. I have my senior memory book, but can't tell you where it is or the last time I looked at it.

College I have a few friends that I keep in touch with, and don't really have much nostalgia from it either. I do have a stack of pictures from those days, and they are hysterical to look at.

I'm in the boat that I didnt' really enjoy HS, and have not gone to any reunions, the few people I was good freinds with I have stayed in touch with. I couldn't give a darn about the rest. But then again, I wasn't one of the cool kids. LOL

jrc1963 posted 6/25/2013 11:31 AM

I definitely was not the "cool" kid in high school... and college was consumed with school, working full time and being with my fiancé.

and Ama! I'm sure you have a point...

Sad in AZ posted 6/25/2013 11:57 AM

I was definitely not one of the cool kids, jrc. I was/am a certifiable geek. But most of my friends were all misfits too, and we mis-fit together very well.

Prior to Jr.High, I was very much a loner; I spent all of my free time reading, bird watching and day dreaming. In Jr. High I finally met people like me; my best friend for quite a few years spent the summer before jr. high reading the dictionary--my kind of people!

I hated school because I was bored to tears, but I didn't know it. My friends made my time in school bearable.

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.