I am sorry you have had to find yourself here. Please know it is a safe and caring place where people generally care and understand.
Please take the time to read all you can in the Healing Library. You have a lot to wrap your mind around.
Trust nothing at this point. She will lie to cover her betrayal. She will minimize because she KNOWS her behavior was wrong.
Demand a NC letter sent via text, email, FB whatever.
Then get into IC. Demand she get into IC. She needs to figure out why she allowed herself to cheat.
EA/PA are both affairs based on lies, fantasy and deceit.
Know that you did nothing to deserve this. NOTHING. Affairs aren't about what they weren't getting they are about what they weren't giving.
Take time to absorb this information and define your boundaries going forward.
You can and will make it through one way or the other but the process is hard.
We are all here and are rooting for you.