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w49 coop student 23 emotional affair FB texting and lunches

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wtf2013 posted 6/24/2013 19:08 PM

wife was having 10 week emotional affair with college coop placement student on FB, texting evenings, weekends, plus alone lunches, rides to and from work. Keep secret, but introduced him to my three high school children, told one not to mention to dad. Caught on FB, texting first denied "just friends" linked spending, texts, FB times then threated to leave and or expose everything to friends, co=workers, family unless full disclosure. Kept lying for five weeks, missing details, adding lies then one last effort or I was leaving. Finally opening she is opening up. SIC shit.
Update - July 2 - Thank you everyone for your time and support. It has ben helpful and stressful to read your thoughts and suggestions. My wife and I have spent alot of time going through all details. She is reading a recommended book called,"not just friends" She was willing to take a polygraph. Drove to location went into office, choose the questions (Were you physical...) then I said WTF are we doing?? She is regretful, remorseful and supportive to answer any questions to rebuild our marriage. We have our first marriage counselling session tonight.

[This message edited by wtf2013 at 10:08 AM, July 2nd (Tuesday)]

isadora posted 6/24/2013 21:01 PM

I'm sorry you had to find us. Welcome.

As hard as this is too imagine, you will get through this, you did not cause this.

Going through TT (trickle truth) is tough. Hopefully your WW will give you the whole truth, but brace yourself that it is more than an EA. That you may only see the tip of the iceberg.

Hang in there.

damaged71 posted 6/25/2013 07:12 AM

Sorry about that....

I'll second what Isadora said. Prep for more than an EA. If she says you know everything tell her you have scheduled a polygraph to validate. Her reaction will tell you everything.

I'm 13 months out and still feeling the ever-changing fallout from this.

I really am sorry your made it here.

toomanyregrets posted 6/25/2013 08:08 AM

I'm sorry you hab to join us.

Trust only 50% of what your WW says and as others have said, there's more, lots more. Be prepared for the worst.

brokenfinger posted 6/25/2013 08:16 AM

TT are awful. I'm still going through that with my ex shitface, and have come to the conclusion I may never get the whole truth.

Nothing worse then feeling like your being treated like you are stupid. Nothing. I my humble opinion, anyways

Jospehine85 posted 6/25/2013 15:10 PM

Do her FB posts and texts support her claim it is just emotional?

Is she remorseful? Has she become completely transparent with you? Do you have full access to her phone, all email, facebook, skype, google +, etc?

Has a No Contact letter been sent to the OM? Is he married? Does he have a spouse to warn?

1Faith posted 6/25/2013 15:29 PM


I am sorry you have had to find yourself here. Please know it is a safe and caring place where people generally care and understand.

Please take the time to read all you can in the Healing Library. You have a lot to wrap your mind around.

Trust nothing at this point. She will lie to cover her betrayal. She will minimize because she KNOWS her behavior was wrong.

Demand a NC letter sent via text, email, FB whatever.

Then get into IC. Demand she get into IC. She needs to figure out why she allowed herself to cheat.

EA/PA are both affairs based on lies, fantasy and deceit.

Know that you did nothing to deserve this. NOTHING. Affairs aren't about what they weren't getting they are about what they weren't giving.

Take time to absorb this information and define your boundaries going forward.

You can and will make it through one way or the other but the process is hard.

We are all here and are rooting for you.

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