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I'm so sad

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forgivingnow posted 6/24/2013 22:10 PM

It still makes me so sick and sad with what he did. Will I ever truly get over this?

nowiknow23 posted 6/24/2013 22:12 PM

You will recover, honey, but "get over?" I'm not sure how to answer that one. ((((forgivingnow))))

tryingagain74 posted 6/24/2013 22:13 PM

(((forgivingnow)))

somanyyears posted 6/24/2013 22:17 PM


..((((((hugs)))))))

..same dilemma

smy

RidingHealingRd posted 6/24/2013 22:21 PM

I do not believe that we can ever *truly get over it* I say, it is just too huge.

We have been in R for 2.5+ years and life is 100% better today. Why? because my WH works every single day to right his wrong.

Just days after Dday he stated that, if I would give him a 2nd chance he would work every day to try make me happy. I did not care what he said but I did pay close attention to what he did.

There were months, many months, of very dark days when my anger and rage flared daily. My WH never wavered, he never left, he never gave up. All of this (his actions) makes it much easier.

There are moments when I feel sad but these moments no longer cause me to spiral out of control.

Truly over it? No, but I do hope that you are able to look back over the 1+yrs and see a huge improvement.

(forgivingnow)

forgivingnow posted 6/24/2013 22:21 PM

Thank you.

forgivingnow posted 6/24/2013 22:28 PM

His actions are wonderful, true & real but I still have moments of pain, disbelief, anguish & I am so thankful for you that have walked this path just ahead of me & said just keep walking.

forgivingnow posted 6/24/2013 22:35 PM

His actions are wonderful, true & real but I still have moments of pain, disbelief, anguish & I am so thankful for you that have walked this path just ahead of me & said just keep walking.

sunshine226 posted 6/24/2013 22:43 PM

Sadly, I dont feel like I will ever "get over it" It is and will always be a part of our lives, a part of our history.

But I want to believe that I will learn to live with the pain, learn to deal with it, and find some peace.

Take one day at a time, take care of yourself and focus on your blessings not your burdens. Burdens brought into your life unfortunately by someone else's selfish actions.

But I would never want to trade places with my WH, I can hold my head high and know that I did nothing wrong. Can't say the same for him

Jrazz posted 6/24/2013 22:53 PM

I don't know about getting over anything. We are a collection of our experiences, in a way.

I DO believe that there's potential for us to collect enough happiness and contentment that this doesn't weigh as heavily on us as time passes.

(((forgivingnow)))

Betrayeddaddio posted 6/25/2013 00:55 AM

I don't think I ever described myself as "sad" pre D-day, bummed, down in the dumps, depressed but never sad.....just recently I realized that I am, and unlike depression there is no pill for sad.....only action will effect sadness.

I'm with the not getting fully over this crowd.

kansas1968 posted 6/25/2013 01:40 AM

Same here. Some days it does just make me so sad. I know that time will get me past it, but I will never really get over it. It is just a point of history now, and there is nothing I can do to change it. I can only live my life as fully as I can and try not to think about it. That gets easier the more time that passes. Truly, I think time (and a loving FWH) is really what heals.

LivinginLimbo posted 6/25/2013 08:42 AM

Get over it? No. Learn from it? Definitely.

forgivingnow posted 6/25/2013 15:35 PM

Thank you for the hugs and wonderful words.
SO...I need to realize I will never truly get over this. Accept that.

RidingHealingRd-When I look back, there IS a huge improvement, for both of us. I don't want to go back. I want what we have now. Thank you for your gentle reminder.

Sunshine-"Focus on your blessings not your burdens" Yes, I need to focus on gratitude.

Jrazz-"we are a collection of our experiences"...yes...I wrote about that in the positive reconcilliation stories...I need to read what I have felt in the past when I am sad.

Betrayed-"only action will affect sadness" I need to remind myself I do have some control.

Kansas-I feel exactly what you wrote. It took listeneing to all of you to realize I truly won't ever get over this AND that's ok. It is not my reality now.

LivinginLimbo- I have learned so much about myself, resilance and strength.
Thank you everyone.

lostmommy posted 6/25/2013 15:45 PM

I don't think the betrayal and the words that come after are ever gotten over. Can you move past it? Sure. Will it affect you less as time goes on? Yes. Will you wake up one day and say "this happened in my past but look at where I am now"? Yes. Everything you're feeling right now is normal. It gets better, whether it ends in D or R, it does get better. (((hugs)))

Lovedyoumore posted 6/25/2013 15:50 PM

I wish I knew. Life changed forever for both of us on a January day in 2011 when my H of over 30 years went to her bed. My world crumbled at 6:05 am on March 16, 2011, when he admitted screwing a needy, NPD, never married, desparate whore. The saddness in my life comes from dashed dreams of the "relaxed, golden years" that are supposed to be the reward of a life lived with integrity and pride. Now, there is shame, guilt, remorse, anger, and the unrelenting saddness.

My biggest fear that causes me great saddness? At our age I will not live long enough to get any of my comfort and safety back. He is trying to be what I need and want, but some days I feel as if the ship has already sailed and we missed it.

looking forward posted 6/26/2013 09:46 AM

I don't know about getting over anything. We are a collection of our experiences, in a way.
I DO believe that there's potential for us to collect enough happiness and contentment that this doesn't weigh as heavily on us as time passes.

I can only hope!

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