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Suggestions for "hell week"?

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sodamnlost posted 6/25/2013 06:44 AM

I am fast approaching what I can only call hell week. July 24 (2012) was the last time he was with OW, she slept here), July 27 (2010) is the first time he was with OW (she came here), July 29 is my ear surgery. So - in a month I have to face these 3 days in the same week.

Suggestions? I took the week off work (business owner so I can) as honestly just the surgery alone is enough to send me into the fetal position. My medical past is just about as horrid with nasty details as my romantic past, including knowing he met OW 3 months after back surgery and 6 months after brain surgery in 2010. I have had full blown PTSD from a surgery I wasn't fully asleep for and FELT in 2000.

Anyways, I have no idea how to handle. IC suggested me and WH go somewhere. I struggle with this one. We are in some form of R, not fully there yet as I am just not seeing "enough" from him yet. I actually debated saying FTG and FTC*&t and going upnorth with my friend and kids for a vacation, where I was both times in July when he was with her. Reclaim my annual vacation spot on my own sorta thing. I have debated taking a train somewhere I have never been, on my own. All I know is I *CANNOT* be HERE, with HIM. In *MY* house. The one he defiled by bringing his trash here.

As for where I am at in the process in general - pissed. I am starting to stand on my own finally. I am still here, still trying but the loss of respect I have for WH is piling up rather high lately. I will be 10 months out from first dday, 5 months out from last one (same AP, more details revealed).

Suggestions oh wise SI group?

MystiKay posted 6/25/2013 11:05 AM

I dont think there is much to do for the emotional stuff that comes with "hellweek" The only thing I can suggest is that you do do things for you. If you are staying over night. Go out and get you all new nightgowns, slippers, things you want to make you feel better.

At home, get things that will make you more comfortable afterwards. If you can leading up to it. Make that week all about you, wheather your WS is involved or not. Like get your nails down, hair done. That kind of thing.And if he says anything, just turn and look at him, waiting. That is what I would do.

All my good thoughts for your surgery! Best of luck.

sisoon posted 6/25/2013 11:57 AM

What feels good to you? What do you actually want to do?

The vibe I feel - alas, which is likely to be about me more than about you - is that you want to curl up in a fetal position for a while.

After all, one way to heal is to withdraw, lick one's wounds, rest, and thereby rebuild health and strength.

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