SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

movingforward13 posted 6/25/2013 09:14 AM

Often times we get so wrapped up in ourselves and tend to forget that our children is also affected. Many of waywards have issues stemming from FOO problems and those issues contributed to their infidelity choices.

So while we go through this and trying to get through the storm, just remember our kids are going through it as well and they too may develop poor coping skills into their adult lives. Our own children could be waywards that damage their own families with poor choices because of what they experienced growing up. Protect and teach them as much as you can. Teach them respect, love, empathy and most importantly, how to let go of someone who hurts them.

toomanyregrets posted 6/25/2013 09:28 AM

My fWW wasn't thinking of the kids whe she had her A.
For the 3 months that it lasted, the only time she saw them was on Sunday's, because the store was closed.
Our oldest daughter was 13 and took her mothers side, that it was all my fault that my fWW had an A. Our other daughter was too young to take sides but she went with them when they left.
Since then our oldest has had a problem with relationships. She doesn't trust anyone. the other daughter is too trusting. She's been with her BF for over 11 years and we're sure that he's cheating on her, but we can't prove it.

tushnurse posted 6/25/2013 11:08 AM

My H was one of these new age dads, was really involved, took care of the kids on his own in the evenings, because of my job. He put them first, always, made sure they had lots of love and attention.

Then the A. He was a completely different man. He wouldnt even call to them good night when he was out of town, would go days without seeing or talking to them. Was really an ass, short tempered with them, mean to them etc.

So glad he figured it out. He is a great dad again, his kids get all the love, and support, but stern guidance that they need. My 14 yo daughter hates him, as most 14 yo girls do. My son gets aggravated by his demands, but is starting to get that he is tough on him so that he becomes a great man.

Through the A, through the turmoil they were my bright spot each day, they were small then, and I loved on them, cuddled them, and made sure they felt safe. The oldest one knew something was wrong, and I think he sustpected we were heading for a D, but he also knew Mom would always always always be there for him.

It's tough, but they have to be put in first place even through the shitstorm of infidelity.