your DDay is so new, so fresh. I am so sorry for your pain. I have felt it. I have felt your feelings of despair. Your post was my post at the very beginning. You are not alone in your feelings.
The best advice i got from this site was to give it time. Dont make rush decisions in this early time. This is the most painful thing you will ever go thru. This is the hardest thing you will ever have to do.
You need to give yourself time to process all your feelings. dont push them down. dont rug sweep them. let them come. face them head on. Talk to your WH. keep the lines of communication open. Go to MC/IC, read books, post on this site.
If your WH is truly remorseful, and shows you with actions every single day, then the pain does lessen. I am 6 months out from my DDay. In the beginning i thought i would die. I couldn't eat, i lost weight, didn't go out, could barely function. i was a mess. devastated. Feeling exactly how you feel.
6 months later, i am stronger. The pain is there, but it is less. Every day i fight. Every day i struggle. Some days i win and i beat the pain...other days it overtakes me. But every day i fight.
Keep fighting. You are not alone. If you love him, if he is remorseful, if he owns his actions and works hard on himself to identify his issues and fix them, then R is possible. If there is one thing this site has taught me, it is that R is possible. It is possible to rebuild, it is possible to have that future you wanted.
keep fighting. you are not alone. hugs to you.