God dammit! More Fucking TT, it drives me crazy. Since seeing OW at the store the other day, first time I've seen her in public, the flud gates opened up. It was a shock to see her, wh was very supportive and helpful after seeing her, up until that time I was successfully doing the 180, feeling good about it too.
But then we saw her and later that day I got more TT. Finally admitting to everything I already suspected to have happened. I lay awake at night until early morning with mind movie after mind movie just on repeat mixed with all the times he has lied to me. I'm just hurt that it took seeing me devastated seeing her to finally show me some resemblance of remorse and tell me everything.
How do you get past all the TT? How do you heal from that, the actual acts of the A are one thing to heal from and forgive, but the lies and deceit are so much harder to forgive and trust again.
Its been a sad few days for me, barely being able to eat and function just enough to care for my kids. WH's trying to be supportive and comfort me, reassure me. But he still doesn't love me and he still lied to me for almost 3 years after the A ended.
I'm still trying to do the 180, but i'm just so sad and tired that its hard for me to keep it up. I just want to curl into a ball and stay there until this pain goes away!
BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 10, DS 7, DS 6.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it
